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Still asking 'what's the point of meeting anybody?' even at this point... I think I see how this person ended up so alone. Life isn't about arbitrary dates on the calendar or other hashtag moments. It's about every minute we're granted on the right side of the daisies, and having people to share it with is one of the many blessings we can be afforded.
One of my grandfathers had 9 kids, all of which had kids besides one who was a junkie. He ended up dying with over 30 grandkids. If he ever needed anything, it was provided for him by his family, he didn't have much to give away for inheritance (was poor and dyslexic his whole life) but always joked about cutting you out of the will (I got a robe) but he was a beloved man and we cherish the videos and pictures we have of him to this day and he is always a topic of conversation and one of my twins has his name as his middle name. My other grandfather had 3 kids. Luckily he still passed with 12 grandkids. He was a mean man and lived alone after my grandma passed, when he needed to be taken care of, I was the only person willing to do it for the sake of I hope my grandkids would do the same for me if it means keeping me out of a home. He had lots to give in inheritance and the grandkids got none of it and his children sold most of it off. Whole we remember his wife and brothers fondly, he is remembered as a crotchety man. Its not about simply having kids and a family but recognizing that that is the point of life and putting relationships first, no matter how poor you are.
↩ replying to npub1ejt4...yu4g
Indeed. It's the love and purpose of good relationships that matter, not marriage in itself. It can happen within that framework but that doesn't mean everyone will find it that way - or that it will last. Speaking from bitter experience here. But I'm also a bit older, seems like most posts celebrating marriage unconditionally come from milennials who are just getting started with family life and thus have a more rose tinted view than this old heathen.
↩ replying to HODL
This a very underrated statement. My wife and I were always ride or die (h/t and happy anniversary @ODELL). Too many couples give up at too soon. "No fault divorce" made it worse. The welfare state that seperated family stability from financial security was another erosion. Making everyone believe you have a "right" to be happy (without work) was the final break with reality. Wife and I are 29 years in and going strong...Just a bit slower 🤣. Lower your time preference. If you can wake up next to someone you've shared the majority of you life with, its a great day! KIDS MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.
I’ve never had a long term relationship and I’ve never felt lonely when I was on my own. I’ve had relationships but they were never what defined me. I value companionship but it’s not the ultimate goal of my life. What truly matters to me is creating something that inspires others. I want to learn, explore, and dream. I see that many people on nostr seem to believe the nuclear family is the highest value but it's not an absolute salvation for many. As long as I stay true to my own values, I don’t think I’ll ever feel lonely. View quoted note →
By no means is marriage or family essential for a full and happy life. That claim is broad brush, one size fits all, bullshit, devoid of nuance. Marriage and family is a massive dice roll. While marriage and family CAN be a source of great fulfillment in life, these relationships can also inject chaos into people's lives, often to the point of ruining the lives of those involved to varying degrees. It's worth pointing out that Buddha left his wife and son. Likewise, Christ told people to give up everything they have and follow him...same thing. He was saying you gotta give it all up including relationships, not just possessions or monetary wealth. You even have to give up the concept of "you". The 50 year old in the post you shared is attached to certain things and that's why they are suffering. Keeping up with the Joneses is not giving up everything you have. It's chasing everything you don't have. If the grass is always greener, the answer is to burn the picket fence.
Something interesting happens around 50 (I just turned 53). You start asking yourself, "Did I do it? Did I pull it off?" This is a reflection not only of accomplishment but of meaning, purpose, and genuine connection to others. Before 50, you don't ask that question because you're still building. But at 50, the question shows up. A "yes" answer provides a deep sense of contentment and gratitude. We're not done building, but going forward is with wisdom, grace, and fortitude without stress. A "no" answer results in the pull to a mid-life crisis as the realization that it's too late sets in. These people are plagued with memories of missed opportunities. They scramble through their days with a diminishing sense of self. For me, marriage and family is also essential and I thank God my answer is, "YES!"
She still doesn’t get… rambling on reddit won’t solve her loneliness. She works in a restaurant I guess, usually the easiest environment to get in touch with new people and she’s still too egotistical and hopes for miracles. Like the meme that the drowning person sends away boat after boat in hope for god to save them