Marriage and family is essential for a full and happy life. You donโt want to end up like this person.
Thread
Login to reply
Replies ()
You can prioritize yourself or you can die to yourself and make your life not about you. One is easy and will feel good when youโre young. One is incredibly hard, but will leave you fulfilled.
Those that think their life is an accident, meaningless, and created from a large bang out of fast spinning nothing often make life about themselves.
Those that think they were intentionally created, out of an abundance of love, with a beautiful purpose, often die to themselves.
Sad indeed. The reality is this is just a tip of the iceberg of whatโs coming given that Millenials have been the generation that has been harder hit by the nihilism Psyop than previous generations and unfortunately we will be seeing more of these in the future. We can definitely save a few from this trap, but by and large the seeds have already been down. Buckle up.
The key sentence summarizing this mindset is: โI must have thought that by 50 something magical would have happenedโ
Itโs literally magical thinking
No, this woman had to have rejected a lot of men. There are 6% more men in the world than women and basically women only have to be non- openly hostile towards men, and somebody will be very happy to spend their life with her with or without children.
Had Gen X faced a time of war like the silent generation or the greatest generation where 6% to 8% of the men didnโt make it to their 25th birthday and the odds were even there would be a lot of women that did have to go barren and unmarried
Happiness is only real when shared.
Sold a box of secular nonsense.
As a married father, I do think that marriage and family can be one of the simplest paths to a full and happy life โ what you give is what you receive, and giving comes most naturally to your wife and children. That said, there are probably many ways for people to live full and happy lives, each finding meaning in their own way.
Man that was heart crushing to read. I absolutely see your point, but I'm not sure I'd call marriage and family essential for happiness. In fact, I know this isn't universally true.
That claim implies that anyone who doesn't have kids is doomed to a miserable life. As I see it, happiness without family is an uphill battle in many ways, but certainly not an absolute loss.
Creativity, passion, and purpose are essential. Those can manifest differently for everyone.
Unfortunately this poor guy sounds like a sad sap on many levels, not just the family front ๐
It is universally true, the idea that itโs not is one of the biggest lies of our lifetime.
Iโve lived a life fueled by imagination and passion for what I create, but even the greatest work feels small beside the joy of having a family. That is the deeper truth.
Seriously, how do you end up still having to work12 hours days at 50 Years old if you had no children to spend your money on? She obviously didn't spend it on friends and it doesn't seem like she does her job out of passion.
Okay
I think it's encoded in our biology given that we are social animals. Contemporary extreme individualism is a cult.
Alpha vs Sigma IMHO
Itโs astounding how high time preference people have.
Weโre on our way to having the fifth kid in six years and when people say โwow, thatโs crazyโ, my answer is โNo, having just one or two kids who are years apart is crazierโ
I feel you we had 4 in 5 years
Thatโs amazing! Congrats to you both. Greater ROI than Bitcoin itself
Iโm about to find out how crazy it will be. 2 year age gap
Itโs not bad theyโll be besties
grateful for the people I have in my life, everything else is so secondary
โNow to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.โ
โญโญ1 Corinthiansโฌ โญ7โฌ:โญ8โฌ โญNIVโฌโฌ
Stacker News
From Race Science to Religion: The Ellis Connection \ stacker news ~Politics_And_Law
The Pioneer Fund started in the 1930s to advance eugenics โ the idea that the nationโs strength depended on protecting its โstock.โ By the ...
Donโt take things out of context. Literally the verse before says:
โNow as a concession, not a command, I say this.โ 1 Corinthiansโฌ โญ7โฌ:โญ6โฌ โญ
And also the context is that a single person can devote themselves fully to the work of God. So you can only apply verse 7 to faithful Christianโs who see that as a single person they can fully devote themselves to ministry without having to care for a family.
Very few are called to do that it seems.
Exactly. Paul wasnโt giving lifestyle advice. He was dismantling the lie that fulfillment comes from marriage, status, or bloodline.
The irony: this person may not even be a follower of the Way, yet the evangelical church in the U.S. has absorbed a secular theology that treats marriage as salvation.
Thatโs the Pioneer Fundโs legacy โ race science rebranded as โfamily order,โ preached as Gospel.
Paulโs message was the opposite: identity in Christ, not reproduction or heritage.
The church stopped preaching resurrection and started preaching lineage.
Stacker News
From Race Science to Religion: The Ellis Connection \ stacker news ~Politics_And_Law
The Pioneer Fund started in the 1930s to advance eugenics โ the idea that the nationโs strength depended on protecting its โstock.โ By the ...
I 100% agree with you. I misunderstood your point originally.
Family is incredibly fulfilling but only Jesus provides lasting and eternal fulfillment.
Lot of liberals on #Reddit
I suspect this is not isolated in that community.
I used to plan having a big party with lots of friends when I turned a certain round number.
Then, when I reached that age, I decided I'd rather spend the day with my wife and child!
With did so on vacation in the woods.
Still cherish that day!
Women are always feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, she squandered her youth on the hateful feminist lie. The "big 50th" birthday party is for people who had kids young, are married, and aren't reclusive. Even for them, it's really just extended family's excuse for people to get drunk and free food. Today's world where everyone is broke and communities are destroyed by multiculturalism, there is little room to have an "over the hill" party.
I'm convinced that feminism is a feline conspiracy to ensure comfortable lives for cats everywhere on the backs of lonely older women.
Thats why the feline gene scientists created toxoplasmosis ๐ง
This seems accurate. I grew up with cats, and the only way I could get away was to leave them with my mom (although she's still married, she was their primary caregiver, as my dad didn't care for them ๐คฃ)
Gah...
๐ฏ. People who are generous seem to be the happiest. A family defaults you to generosity.
Still asking 'what's the point of meeting anybody?' even at this point... I think I see how this person ended up so alone.
Life isn't about arbitrary dates on the calendar or other hashtag moments. It's about every minute we're granted on the right side of the daisies, and having people to share it with is one of the many blessings we can be afforded.
My sons are the only human beings I like.
Reading that hurt my soul a little. The lies run so deep, but fortunately they are being revealed.
I live for moments like this with my wife and son, with another on the way.
This man agrees with you , heโs just stating he wasnโt fortunate to have it happen for him
Thereโs a lot left unsaid in this manโs vent, it has to do with the money
View quoted note โ
The sad thing is a lot of people end up this way because they pursue fiat careers, fiat money and fiat status.
All those things are rapidly debasing. Family, Bitcoin and kids on the other hand, get more valuable as you age.
View quoted note โ
If you have a relationship with Christ you never feel alone.
Christ wants you to have a family
That one hurts man.
We have to reach for the things we want in life. It donโt come for free, and certainly not by itself
I'm afraid this will be my daughter in 17 years ๐ฅ
Sobering.
One of my grandfathers had 9 kids, all of which had kids besides one who was a junkie. He ended up dying with over 30 grandkids. If he ever needed anything, it was provided for him by his family, he didn't have much to give away for inheritance (was poor and dyslexic his whole life) but always joked about cutting you out of the will (I got a robe) but he was a beloved man and we cherish the videos and pictures we have of him to this day and he is always a topic of conversation and one of my twins has his name as his middle name.
My other grandfather had 3 kids. Luckily he still passed with 12 grandkids. He was a mean man and lived alone after my grandma passed, when he needed to be taken care of, I was the only person willing to do it for the sake of I hope my grandkids would do the same for me if it means keeping me out of a home. He had lots to give in inheritance and the grandkids got none of it and his children sold most of it off. Whole we remember his wife and brothers fondly, he is remembered as a crotchety man.
Its not about simply having kids and a family but recognizing that that is the point of life and putting relationships first, no matter how poor you are.
You need to be in the right marriage. That will make all the difference. Being married to the wrong person will make you wish you were dead some days.
Indeed. It's the love and purpose of good relationships that matter, not marriage in itself. It can happen within that framework but that doesn't mean everyone will find it that way - or that it will last.
Speaking from bitter experience here. But I'm also a bit older, seems like most posts celebrating marriage unconditionally come from milennials who are just getting started with family life and thus have a more rose tinted view than this old heathen.
Iโm on my second marriage. I learned what you wrote the hard way. Experience is hard earned sometimes.
Marriage is what you make of it in my view.
This a very underrated statement.
My wife and I were always ride or die (h/t and happy anniversary @ODELL). Too many couples give up at too soon. "No fault divorce" made it worse. The welfare state that seperated family stability from financial security was another erosion. Making everyone believe you have a "right" to be happy (without work) was the final break with reality.
Wife and I are 29 years in and going strong...Just a bit slower ๐คฃ.
Lower your time preference. If you can wake up next to someone you've shared the majority of you life with, its a great day!
KIDS MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.
Its their comments about waiting and expecting something magical to happen.. like they see life as happening TO THEM, so they can absolve themselves of responsibility for their own choices.
take note, @Michael Saylor .
Families are proof of work,they dont just happen.
Life isnt woke.
not everyone wins a prize for paticipation.
That is heartbreaking. Praying she finds Hope.
I agree. Having both a husband and a baby, my life is way fuller and happier than when I was single.
Iโve never had a long term relationship and Iโve never felt lonely when I was on my own. Iโve had relationships but they were never what defined me. I value companionship but itโs not the ultimate goal of my life. What truly matters to me is creating something that inspires others. I want to learn, explore, and dream.
I see that many people on nostr seem to believe the nuclear family is the highest value but it's not an absolute salvation for many. As long as I stay true to my own values, I donโt think Iโll ever feel lonely.
View quoted note โ
It's ok to be not confident with their life, now the person needs to get up at start trying
It seems like a pervasive lie is that marriage and kids, "happens" to you.
It fucking doesn't happen to you.
You and God make it happen by making certain choices and taking certain actions.
Read "How to Prepare Yourself for Marriage," to learn how to find a spouse:
View quoted note โ
Fika Time Books.com – Books for personal growth
By no means is marriage or family essential for a full and happy life.
That claim is broad brush, one size fits all, bullshit, devoid of nuance.
Marriage and family is a massive dice roll.
While marriage and family CAN be a source of great fulfillment in life, these relationships can also inject chaos into people's lives, often to the point of ruining the lives of those involved to varying degrees.
It's worth pointing out that Buddha left his wife and son.
Likewise, Christ told people to give up everything they have and follow him...same thing. He was saying you gotta give it all up including relationships, not just possessions or monetary wealth. You even have to give up the concept of "you".
The 50 year old in the post you shared is attached to certain things and that's why they are suffering. Keeping up with the Joneses is not giving up everything you have. It's chasing everything you don't have.
If the grass is always greener, the answer is to burn the picket fence.
Pure nonsense
Itโs only a dice roll if you let the woman run the relationship
One size fits all broad brush statements are pure nonsense. I agree.
You're trying to be the Joneses so that people will chase what you have.
That makes you feel better about what you have.
You're pumping your bags in a validation Ponzi scheme.
Remember, one man collects what another man discards.
Retarded gibberish
Itโs fascinating how peopleโs responses often expose more about their insecurities than the topic itself.
Something interesting happens around 50 (I just turned 53). You start asking yourself, "Did I do it? Did I pull it off?" This is a reflection not only of accomplishment but of meaning, purpose, and genuine connection to others. Before 50, you don't ask that question because you're still building. But at 50, the question shows up.
A "yes" answer provides a deep sense of contentment and gratitude. We're not done building, but going forward is with wisdom, grace, and fortitude without stress.
A "no" answer results in the pull to a mid-life crisis as the realization that it's too late sets in. These people are plagued with memories of missed opportunities. They scramble through their days with a diminishing sense of self.
For me, marriage and family is also essential and I thank God my answer is, "YES!"
Nah this is just the way it is
I believe she's been realizing this from her 30s but wouldn't admit it until now that she hits 50, which is even beyond the point of no return.
Notice how the lady also has no friends or community. Marriage and children are not the only road to these things nor does having a husband or kids make everyone happy. There is no magic recipe for a full and happy life.
Dear lord this is depressing
Terrifying, wishing this fellow all the best
Sounds like heโs been waiting for something to happen all his life. Should of climbed into the front seat & started driving rather than being a passenger. Sad.
Sheesh, this reads just like how my best mate texts.
She still doesnโt getโฆ rambling on reddit wonโt solve her loneliness.
She works in a restaurant I guess, usually the easiest environment to get in touch with new people and sheโs still too egotistical and hopes for miracles.
Like the meme that the drowning person sends away boat after boat in hope for god to save them
Our generation will have an ocean of these stories in the coming years.