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You can prioritize yourself or you can die to yourself and make your life not about you. One is easy and will feel good when you’re young. One is incredibly hard, but will leave you fulfilled. Those that think their life is an accident, meaningless, and created from a large bang out of fast spinning nothing often make life about themselves. Those that think they were intentionally created, out of an abundance of love, with a beautiful purpose, often die to themselves.
Sad indeed. The reality is this is just a tip of the iceberg of what’s coming given that Millenials have been the generation that has been harder hit by the nihilism Psyop than previous generations and unfortunately we will be seeing more of these in the future. We can definitely save a few from this trap, but by and large the seeds have already been down. Buckle up.
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↩ replying to The Conscious Contrarian
No, this woman had to have rejected a lot of men. There are 6% more men in the world than women and basically women only have to be non- openly hostile towards men, and somebody will be very happy to spend their life with her with or without children. Had Gen X faced a time of war like the silent generation or the greatest generation where 6% to 8% of the men didn’t make it to their 25th birthday and the odds were even there would be a lot of women that did have to go barren and unmarried
As a married father, I do think that marriage and family can be one of the simplest paths to a full and happy life — what you give is what you receive, and giving comes most naturally to your wife and children. That said, there are probably many ways for people to live full and happy lives, each finding meaning in their own way.
Man that was heart crushing to read. I absolutely see your point, but I'm not sure I'd call marriage and family essential for happiness. In fact, I know this isn't universally true. That claim implies that anyone who doesn't have kids is doomed to a miserable life. As I see it, happiness without family is an uphill battle in many ways, but certainly not an absolute loss. Creativity, passion, and purpose are essential. Those can manifest differently for everyone. Unfortunately this poor guy sounds like a sad sap on many levels, not just the family front 😂
It’s astounding how high time preference people have. We’re on our way to having the fifth kid in six years and when people say “wow, that’s crazy”, my answer is “No, having just one or two kids who are years apart is crazier”
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↩ replying to npub1tjne...fszd
Don’t take things out of context. Literally the verse before says: “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭6‬ ‭ And also the context is that a single person can devote themselves fully to the work of God. So you can only apply verse 7 to faithful Christian’s who see that as a single person they can fully devote themselves to ministry without having to care for a family. Very few are called to do that it seems.
↩ replying to Clayton
Exactly. Paul wasn’t giving lifestyle advice. He was dismantling the lie that fulfillment comes from marriage, status, or bloodline. The irony: this person may not even be a follower of the Way, yet the evangelical church in the U.S. has absorbed a secular theology that treats marriage as salvation. That’s the Pioneer Fund’s legacy
Stacker News
From Race Science to Religion: The Ellis Connection \ stacker news ~Politics_And_Law
The Pioneer Fund started in the 1930s to advance eugenics — the idea that the nation’s strength depended on protecting its “stock.” By the ...
 — race science rebranded as “family order,” preached as Gospel. Paul’s message was the opposite: identity in Christ, not reproduction or heritage. The church stopped preaching resurrection and started preaching lineage.
I used to plan having a big party with lots of friends when I turned a certain round number. Then, when I reached that age, I decided I'd rather spend the day with my wife and child! With did so on vacation in the woods. Still cherish that day!
Women are always feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, she squandered her youth on the hateful feminist lie. The "big 50th" birthday party is for people who had kids young, are married, and aren't reclusive. Even for them, it's really just extended family's excuse for people to get drunk and free food. Today's world where everyone is broke and communities are destroyed by multiculturalism, there is little room to have an "over the hill" party.
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Still asking 'what's the point of meeting anybody?' even at this point... I think I see how this person ended up so alone. Life isn't about arbitrary dates on the calendar or other hashtag moments. It's about every minute we're granted on the right side of the daisies, and having people to share it with is one of the many blessings we can be afforded.
One of my grandfathers had 9 kids, all of which had kids besides one who was a junkie. He ended up dying with over 30 grandkids. If he ever needed anything, it was provided for him by his family, he didn't have much to give away for inheritance (was poor and dyslexic his whole life) but always joked about cutting you out of the will (I got a robe) but he was a beloved man and we cherish the videos and pictures we have of him to this day and he is always a topic of conversation and one of my twins has his name as his middle name. My other grandfather had 3 kids. Luckily he still passed with 12 grandkids. He was a mean man and lived alone after my grandma passed, when he needed to be taken care of, I was the only person willing to do it for the sake of I hope my grandkids would do the same for me if it means keeping me out of a home. He had lots to give in inheritance and the grandkids got none of it and his children sold most of it off. Whole we remember his wife and brothers fondly, he is remembered as a crotchety man. Its not about simply having kids and a family but recognizing that that is the point of life and putting relationships first, no matter how poor you are.
↩ replying to Ryan Wilkins
Indeed. It's the love and purpose of good relationships that matter, not marriage in itself. It can happen within that framework but that doesn't mean everyone will find it that way - or that it will last. Speaking from bitter experience here. But I'm also a bit older, seems like most posts celebrating marriage unconditionally come from milennials who are just getting started with family life and thus have a more rose tinted view than this old heathen.
↩ replying to HODL
This a very underrated statement. My wife and I were always ride or die (h/t and happy anniversary @ODELL). Too many couples give up at too soon. "No fault divorce" made it worse. The welfare state that seperated family stability from financial security was another erosion. Making everyone believe you have a "right" to be happy (without work) was the final break with reality. Wife and I are 29 years in and going strong...Just a bit slower 🤣. Lower your time preference. If you can wake up next to someone you've shared the majority of you life with, its a great day! KIDS MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.
I’ve never had a long term relationship and I’ve never felt lonely when I was on my own. I’ve had relationships but they were never what defined me. I value companionship but it’s not the ultimate goal of my life. What truly matters to me is creating something that inspires others. I want to learn, explore, and dream. I see that many people on nostr seem to believe the nuclear family is the highest value but it's not an absolute salvation for many. As long as I stay true to my own values, I don’t think I’ll ever feel lonely. View quoted note →
By no means is marriage or family essential for a full and happy life. That claim is broad brush, one size fits all, bullshit, devoid of nuance. Marriage and family is a massive dice roll. While marriage and family CAN be a source of great fulfillment in life, these relationships can also inject chaos into people's lives, often to the point of ruining the lives of those involved to varying degrees. It's worth pointing out that Buddha left his wife and son. Likewise, Christ told people to give up everything they have and follow him...same thing. He was saying you gotta give it all up including relationships, not just possessions or monetary wealth. You even have to give up the concept of "you". The 50 year old in the post you shared is attached to certain things and that's why they are suffering. Keeping up with the Joneses is not giving up everything you have. It's chasing everything you don't have. If the grass is always greener, the answer is to burn the picket fence.
Something interesting happens around 50 (I just turned 53). You start asking yourself, "Did I do it? Did I pull it off?" This is a reflection not only of accomplishment but of meaning, purpose, and genuine connection to others. Before 50, you don't ask that question because you're still building. But at 50, the question shows up. A "yes" answer provides a deep sense of contentment and gratitude. We're not done building, but going forward is with wisdom, grace, and fortitude without stress. A "no" answer results in the pull to a mid-life crisis as the realization that it's too late sets in. These people are plagued with memories of missed opportunities. They scramble through their days with a diminishing sense of self. For me, marriage and family is also essential and I thank God my answer is, "YES!"
She still doesn’t get… rambling on reddit won’t solve her loneliness. She works in a restaurant I guess, usually the easiest environment to get in touch with new people and she’s still too egotistical and hopes for miracles. Like the meme that the drowning person sends away boat after boat in hope for god to save them