The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
Day 40
November 21st - Once Is Enough. Once Is Forever
"A good isn't increased by the addition of time, but if one is wise for even a moment, they will be no less happy than the person who exercises virtue for all time and happily passes their life in it."
-Chrysippus quoted by Plutarch in Moralia: "Against the Stoics on Common Conceptions," 1062 (Loeb, p. 682)
From the Author:
"Perhaps wisdom and happiness are like winning a medal in the Olympics. It doesn't matter whether you won a hundred years ago or ten minutes ago, or whether you won just once or in multiple events. It doesn't matter whether someone beats you time or score down the road, and it doesn't matter whether you never compete again. You'll always be a medalist, and you'll always know what it feels like. No one can take that away - and it would be impossible to feel more of that feeling.
The Juilliard-trained actor Evan Handler, who not only survived acute myeloid leukemia but also severe depression, has talked about his decision to take antidepressants, which he did for a deliberately brief time. He took them because he wanted to know what true, normal happiness felt like. Once he did, he knew he would stop. He could go back to the struggle like everyone else. He had the ideal for a moment and that was enough.
Perhaps today will be the day when we experience happiness or wisdom. Don't try to grab that moment and hold on to it with all your might. It's not under your control how long it lasts. Enjoy it, recognize it, remember it. Having it for a moment is the same as having it forever."
It's never a good idea to hold on too tightly to anything, I believe. Holding on to something, someone, some fortune, or some other good thing has a feeling of lack to it. You hold on so tight because you experience it rarely. You fear losing it, and so your mindset is stuck in a state of lack, of fear of losing, of fear of not feeling the good feelings again.
You must think abundance, and of course, gratitude. But you let the good times roll, and roll on. You wave goodbye as the good things vanishes into the distance, and before you know it, it's back at your heels.
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”
- Kahlil Gibran
But it's also important to experience and come to peace with the bad times. Let them too roll. Wish them on their merry way, with gratitude for lessons learned.
Think in terms of tides. Of pendulums. Learn to sway with, do not be out of frequency, and find more greatness in the great, and more stability of self in the not so great.
The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
Day 38
November 19th - Maxims from Three Wise Men
"For any challenge we should hold three thoughts at our command:
'Lead on God and Destiny,
To that Goal fixed for me long ago.
I will follow and not stumble; even if my will
is weak I will soldier on.'"
-Cleanthes
"Whoever embraces necessity count as wise,
skilled in divine matters."
- Euripides
"If it pleases the gods, so be it. They may well kill me, but they can't hurt me."
- Epictetus, Enchiridion, 53
From the Author:
"These three quotes compiled by Epictetus show us - in wisdom across history - the themes of tolerance, flexibility, and, ultimate, acceptance. Chealthes and Euripides evoke destiny and fate as concepts that help ease acceptance. When one has a belief in a great or higher power (be it God or gods), then there is no such thing as an event going contrary to plan.
Let's practice this perspective today. Pretend that each event - whether desired or unexpected - was will to happen, willed specifically for you. You wouldn't fight that, would you?"
This makes me think of the meme of the downtrodden man saying "Jesus, why do you give me your hardest battles", and Jesus is replying "because you are my strongest soldier" or something silly.
We find ourselves in situations that feel like uphill battles, and some may feel constant and never ending. But these events are lessons, and maybe if you push too hard against them, you find you lose more and more traction, slip further into what you perceive as near ruin. When this happens it's time to reassess. In some cases it's not meant for you, or not the right timing, and theres another opportunity to grasp hold of.
Someone very close to me has been working hard to build a business over the last few years, and while things look amazing, his work is fantastic, his business has not yet reached a point where he feels like his hard work has paid off. He's had wins, here and there, but ultimately feels like he's pushing through the deepest of depths. He expressed to me he was going to close the business down, and I told him not to worry if it comes to this, as it may release the pressure and allow things to flow, and for something to come along. Within three days of beginning to shut things down, someone reached out to him to collaborate, and it flipped things around in a positive way for him immediately.
Through all this pushing and struggle, he's also found a much higher calling, something he really wants to do. The original business, afterall, was not his passion. But he was able to let go, and dig deep, and that lightbulb moment occured and he has his mission.
It's still a process, but this was his fate. To learn the hardships, the struggles, the dispair, so he can truly experience the goodness, happiness and fruits of his labour.
We talk a lot about this period of his life, and he often wonders why there are so many setbacks, what is this telling him, how can he succeed. And we came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. You keep going, maybe not pushing, but you just keep allowing opportunities to come, try to make something worthwhile, but never accept defeat or failure.