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The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the art of living a good life. Day 44 November 25th - Funny How That Works Out "As for me, I would choose being sick over living in luxury, for being sick only harms the body, whereas luxury destroys both the body and the soul, causing weakness and incapacity in the body and lack of control and cowardice in the soul. What's more, luxury breeds injustice because it also breeds greediness." -Musonius Rufus, Lectures, 20.95.14-17 From the Author: "Stories about lottery winners tend to share one lesson: suddenly coming into a great deal of money is a curse, not a blessing. Just a few years after they get that big check, many lottery winners are actually in worse financial shape. They've lost friends, they've gotten divorced. Their whole lives have been turned into a nightmare as a result of their obscenely good fortune. --- And yet the most common response from a cancer survivor, the person who went through the thing we all dread and fear? 'It was the best thing that ever happened to me.' Funny how it works out, isn't it?" Hardship has the benefit, if you successfully navigate through, of teaching you things that the easy way would not have. The earning of money, through purpose and action has a profound effect on a person, as opposed to having a fortune thrown at them. Though a lot of people may initially be excited for their riches, to go shopping, go on holidays, buy gifts for others... and then what? Do you think many people would want to go back to work after making millions? A little related story of a dream I had a year or more back, which I recounted to Hats last night, was that I had had a dream, and woken up after feeling totally awful, because the dream was that I woke up (in the dream) to having a fortune of several billion dollars worth of bitcoin overnight. The idea that there was not going to be struggle, or at least work that needed to be done for my benefit really did not sit well with me. I feel like we, like our physical bodies, need resistance here and there to grow, and to have a feeling of satisfaction for enduring extended resistance. But not needing to have a purpose because you neutered your drive by gaining a fortune removes a great deal of resistance, but then it may be found more in the people in your lives, such as a spouse or friends.

The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Day 43 November 24th - Train to let go of What's not Yours "Whenever you experience the pangs of losing someone, don't treat it like a part of yourself but as a breakable glass, so when it falls you will remember that and won't be troubled. So too, whenever you kiss your child, siblings, or friend, don't layer on top of the experience all the things you might wish, but hold them back and stop them, just as those who ride behind triumphant generals remind them they are mortal. In the same way, remind yourself that your precious one isn't one of your possessions, but something given for now, not forever..." -Epictetus, Discourses, 3.24.84-86a From the Author: "At a Roman triumph, the majority of the public would have their eyes glued to the victorious general at the front - one of the most coveted spots during Roman times. Only a few would notice the aide in the back, right behind the commander, whispering into his ear, 'Remember, thou art mortal.' What a reminder to hear at the peak of glory and victory! In our own lives, we can train to be that whisper. When there is something we prize - or someone that we love - we can whisper to ourselves that it is fragile, mortal and not truly ours." The theme of the whole of November is "Acceptance / amor fati", so it makes sense that a lot of the entries have very similar themes, and this one is no different in a sense. It ties in the last two posts; 'The Glass is already Broken' and 'Attachments are the Enemy". All three have to do with holding onto something that is not truly yours. The glass can break, you have no control over that potential fate of it, or the lamp can be stolen. Attachments can be destroyed, if for a person - they could act or say a certain thing - and that attachment is gone. We, our attachments and our belongings are fragile, mortal and not truly ours. We cannot hold anything without reasoned choice, or we may come to a cross of confliction. You must then make that reasoned choice.

The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Day 42 November 23rd - Attachment are the Enemy "In short, you must remember this - that if you hold anything dear outside of your own reasoned choice, you will have destroyed your capacity for choice." -Epictetus, Discourses, 4.4.23 From the Author: "According to Anthony De Mello, 'there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is attachment.' Attachments to an image you have of a person, attachments to wealth and status, attachments to a certain place or time, attachments to a job or to a lifestyle. All of those things are dangerous for one reason: they are outside of our reasoned choice. How long we keep them is not in our control." The Author goes on to talk about Epictetus having realised this some two thousand years earlier, and that once we have them we don't want to let them go; 'we become slaves to maintaining the status quo.' We have one thing in our control, that is 'prohairesis'; our capacity for reasoned choice. We cannot keep the attachments to things, unless we are willing to accept that the object of attachment, whether physical or conscious, is already broken. As was talked about in the last post. Neither the Author, nor Epictetus talk about this, but I think it is apt to combine the two. The Zen Master in the last post had an attachment to his cup. Epictetus had an attachment to a lamp. But only once we accept these attachments are not forever, nor are they anything but a certain projection of our own wants to an object or situation, can we demonstrate reasoned choice.

The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Day 41 November 22nd - The Glass is Already Broken. "Fortune falls heavily on those for whom she's unexpected. The one always on the lookout easily endures." -Seneca, On Consolation to Helvia, 5.3 From the Author: "There is a story of a Zen master who had a beautiful prized cup. The master would repeat to himself, 'The glass is already broken.' He enjoyed the cup. He used it. He showed it off to visitors. But in his mind, it was already broken. And so one day, when it actually did break, he simply said, 'Of course.' This is how Stoics think too. There is supposedly a true story about Epictetus and a lamp. He never locked his house, and so his expensive lamp was stolen. When Epictetus replaced it, he replaced it with a cheaper one so he could be less attached to it if it were stolen again. Devastation - that feeling that we're absolutely crused and shocked by an event - is a factor of how unlikely we considered that event in the first place. No one is 'wrecked' by the fact that it's snowing in the winter, because we've accepted (and even anticipated) this turn of events. What about the occurances that surprise us? We might not be so shocked if we took the time to consider their possibility" Over the years I've had my car in the driveway, for several months at a time, left unlocked regularly over night or when I'm not at the house. It, nor it's contents, were ever stolen. I've had my car broken into on two occasions, though. Both when the car was locked, though not in my driveway. I feel like theres a point there of not having a fear, worry, or expectation for an event of this type to occur - to have something stolen or broken - if you can let go of attachment, or fear of losing the thing you're attached to. I'm not saying the act of locking your house or car puts into the universe a frequency of "oh I hope no one breaks a window and steals my stuff", more that theres a feeling of surrender, and acceptance that something may already be broken or stolen. I put out an frequency of safety, security for my person and belongings, and free passage for my movements and words. I believe that only good things happen. But I accept that I own nothing that I cannot defend, and that if something is broken or lost, I can repair or replace it, depending on the significance of the object.

The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Day 40 November 21st - Once Is Enough. Once Is Forever "A good isn't increased by the addition of time, but if one is wise for even a moment, they will be no less happy than the person who exercises virtue for all time and happily passes their life in it." -Chrysippus quoted by Plutarch in Moralia: "Against the Stoics on Common Conceptions," 1062 (Loeb, p. 682) From the Author: "Perhaps wisdom and happiness are like winning a medal in the Olympics. It doesn't matter whether you won a hundred years ago or ten minutes ago, or whether you won just once or in multiple events. It doesn't matter whether someone beats you time or score down the road, and it doesn't matter whether you never compete again. You'll always be a medalist, and you'll always know what it feels like. No one can take that away - and it would be impossible to feel more of that feeling. The Juilliard-trained actor Evan Handler, who not only survived acute myeloid leukemia but also severe depression, has talked about his decision to take antidepressants, which he did for a deliberately brief time. He took them because he wanted to know what true, normal happiness felt like. Once he did, he knew he would stop. He could go back to the struggle like everyone else. He had the ideal for a moment and that was enough. Perhaps today will be the day when we experience happiness or wisdom. Don't try to grab that moment and hold on to it with all your might. It's not under your control how long it lasts. Enjoy it, recognize it, remember it. Having it for a moment is the same as having it forever." It's never a good idea to hold on too tightly to anything, I believe. Holding on to something, someone, some fortune, or some other good thing has a feeling of lack to it. You hold on so tight because you experience it rarely. You fear losing it, and so your mindset is stuck in a state of lack, of fear of losing, of fear of not feeling the good feelings again. You must think abundance, and of course, gratitude. But you let the good times roll, and roll on. You wave goodbye as the good things vanishes into the distance, and before you know it, it's back at your heels. “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” - Kahlil Gibran But it's also important to experience and come to peace with the bad times. Let them too roll. Wish them on their merry way, with gratitude for lessons learned. Think in terms of tides. Of pendulums. Learn to sway with, do not be out of frequency, and find more greatness in the great, and more stability of self in the not so great.

The Daily Stoic - Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Day 38 November 19th - Maxims from Three Wise Men "For any challenge we should hold three thoughts at our command: 'Lead on God and Destiny, To that Goal fixed for me long ago. I will follow and not stumble; even if my will is weak I will soldier on.'" -Cleanthes "Whoever embraces necessity count as wise, skilled in divine matters." - Euripides "If it pleases the gods, so be it. They may well kill me, but they can't hurt me." - Epictetus, Enchiridion, 53 From the Author: "These three quotes compiled by Epictetus show us - in wisdom across history - the themes of tolerance, flexibility, and, ultimate, acceptance. Chealthes and Euripides evoke destiny and fate as concepts that help ease acceptance. When one has a belief in a great or higher power (be it God or gods), then there is no such thing as an event going contrary to plan. Let's practice this perspective today. Pretend that each event - whether desired or unexpected - was will to happen, willed specifically for you. You wouldn't fight that, would you?" This makes me think of the meme of the downtrodden man saying "Jesus, why do you give me your hardest battles", and Jesus is replying "because you are my strongest soldier" or something silly. We find ourselves in situations that feel like uphill battles, and some may feel constant and never ending. But these events are lessons, and maybe if you push too hard against them, you find you lose more and more traction, slip further into what you perceive as near ruin. When this happens it's time to reassess. In some cases it's not meant for you, or not the right timing, and theres another opportunity to grasp hold of. Someone very close to me has been working hard to build a business over the last few years, and while things look amazing, his work is fantastic, his business has not yet reached a point where he feels like his hard work has paid off. He's had wins, here and there, but ultimately feels like he's pushing through the deepest of depths. He expressed to me he was going to close the business down, and I told him not to worry if it comes to this, as it may release the pressure and allow things to flow, and for something to come along. Within three days of beginning to shut things down, someone reached out to him to collaborate, and it flipped things around in a positive way for him immediately. Through all this pushing and struggle, he's also found a much higher calling, something he really wants to do. The original business, afterall, was not his passion. But he was able to let go, and dig deep, and that lightbulb moment occured and he has his mission. It's still a process, but this was his fate. To learn the hardships, the struggles, the dispair, so he can truly experience the goodness, happiness and fruits of his labour. We talk a lot about this period of his life, and he often wonders why there are so many setbacks, what is this telling him, how can he succeed. And we came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. You keep going, maybe not pushing, but you just keep allowing opportunities to come, try to make something worthwhile, but never accept defeat or failure.