The Needling

There were snacks and candy by yards A whole rainbow of munchable carbs And another murder show streaming on TV And so many bottles of Vitamin D

New Children’s Book ‘Good Afternoon Moon’ Celebrates Seattle’s Painfully Early Sunsets:

New Children’s Book ‘Good Afternoon Moon’ Celebrates Seattle’s Painfully Early Sunsets | The Needling

“Wait, did Solstice start on the 20th this year—or?” asked the naked cyclist as people bundled up in smartwool, puffies and rain jackets strolled by with $15 carrots from the Fremont Sunday Market.

Naked Cyclist Wondering Where Everyone Is on Solstice:

Naked Cyclist Wondering Where Everyone Is on Solstice | The Needling

Tire Runoff Delicious, ‘But I Know It’s Bad For Me,’ Says Local Salmon:

Tire Runoff Delicious, ‘But I Know It’s Bad For Me,’ Says Local Salmon | The Needling

“Once we saw the logo for the dumbest company name we’ve ever heard and the word ‘disrupt’ stitched across the back, the contest was effectively over,” said contest judge Linda Harmon.

Man Wins Ugly Sweater Contest By Wearing Startup Hoodie:

Man Wins Ugly Sweater Contest By Wearing Startup Hoodie | The Needling

Asked why no one outside the state of Washington cares enough about its flooded communities that just lost everything they own right before Christmas, today the nation admitted it just kinda assumed the PNW was always living underwater in some sort of giant puddle like that.

At press time, an anxious public also wondering if Bill Nye is doing fine was relieved to discover he was after being told to go fuck themselves by Bill Nye.

Wanna learn how to find real fake news scoops and write them up in a fun and collaborative way with real fake newsroom colleagues? Join us!

The Needling In-Person Real Fake Newsroom Workshop | The Needling