Hoss “Cyber Jester” Delgado

Japanese bond yields painting charts that look like memecoins.

Vivek be like "You have no place in my conservative moobment if you don't want shit-smeared curry niggers like me in the country". Lol okay bro that's fine, the Zoomerwaffen aren't exactly hard up for a seat at the Cuckservative bitch table right now.

CAESAR BATEMANUS MY LIEGE :marseykneel:

$69.420 - Price target 1 achieved

>Send letter to the North Pole asking $70 silver for Christmas. >mfw Santa deniers laughed at me. Who's laughing now? :marseysanta: :marseysmug3:

>be me >Continental Congress, July 1776 >Declaration of Independence finally done >Jefferson spent weeks autisticly polishing every word >Adams argued with everyone for months >Franklin shitposted his way through edits >now time to sign the thing >traitors gonna get hanged if this goes south >most delegates signing tiny, shaky little signatures >barely legible, like they're scared King George gonna spot them from London >John Hancock steps up >absolute unit of a merchant chad >president of Congress, richest guy in the room >dips quill like he's about to drop the hottest mixtape of 1776 >signs his name >massive >ornate as fuck >takes up like 5 inches of parchment >loops and flourishes for days >other founders staring >"bro what the hell" >Hancock leans back, smirks >"His Majesty can read my name without spectacles" >mic drop in 18th century >rest of the signers suddenly feel inadequate >some try to make theirs bigger but it's too late >Hancock already mogged the entire document >56 signatures total >55 of them look like NPCs >one looks like it was signed by God himself >British officers later see the Declaration >"who the fuck is this John Hancock guy thinking he is" >his name becomes slang for "signature" forever >literally signature mogged his way into immortality >mfw Hancock's only real contribution was flexing on everyone with calligraphy >mfw it worked >mfw still the most famous signature in American history >mfw the ultimate chad move was just having better handwriting

Madurocels seething. View quoted note →

I would've yeeted that shit onto eBay in 0.00002 seconds. View quoted note →

>be me >tyler_robinson.jpg >22yo terminally online schizo >spend weeks seething about that smug fascist Charlie Kirk spreading his "hate" >finally snap, grab the rifle, rooftop snipe him mid-debate like a pro gamer headshot >feels epic in the moment, post cryptic Helldivers memes on Discord >brag about Wordle score right before pulling trigger, peak multitasking >turn myself in cuz dad guilt trips me >get thrown in solitary confinement >strapped to the bed, no window, just fluorescent lights and my thoughts >at first still feeling based, "I did it for trans rights and owning the chuds" >day 3 hits >no vidya >no grinding Helldivers 2 for 12 hours straight >no Magic the Gathering online sessions with the boys >no Discord nitro pings, no arguing in voice chat about politics >worst of all >realize I'll never get femboy bf bussy again >that soft twinky roommate I was kinda dating? gone forever >no more late night "cuddles" while watching anime >just me, concrete walls, and the occasional guard sliding slop through the door >hear rumors Utah is pushing for the needle >death row vibes, lethal injection incoming >start thinking maybe owning the fascists wasn't worth it >maybe I should've just touched grass instead of touching rifle >regret.jpg >mfw I threw away my comfy neet life to own the chuds >mfw no more coomer sessions or e-girl DMs >mfw the state is gonna put me to sleep like a rabid dog >should've just stayed in my lane farming karma on reddit >fml