sometimes I read an anecdote or advice that includes the statement that it doesn't cost anything to be kind
but it does, sometimes
usually not money
demeaning someone else can improve one's group status (e.g., a clever put-down garnering accolades) or feelings of self-righteousness or relative self-worth; being kind sacrifices that
being kind when one's peer group has decided otherwise can cost social acceptance
kindness is a good habit and often leads to good things
but isn't always free