One of the most common criticisms of self-directed learning goes something like this: „If I didn’t force my kid to learn, they wouldn’t do anything. They’d just sit around. They’re not motivated.“
This sounds (almost) reasonable from my POV, but only until you look directly at where „lack of motivation“ actually comes from.
The idea that children are naturally unmotivated is one of the most successful myths in modern culture. They’re always on their phone, computer, … not interested in taking part in the real world. It’s so widely believed that people rarely examine it, and blaming the disconnect on the kids is so easy anway. But the evidence tells a different story: kids enter the world wired to explore. Curiosity is the default human setting!!
So why do so many kids appear unmotivated?
Because motivation is extremely sensitive to control. And schools are built on the assumption that learning must be controlled. So, psychologists have known for decades that intrinsic motivation grows when three conditions are present:
1. Autonomy (I choose)
2. Competence (I can do it)
3. Relatedness (It matters to people I care about)
School undermines all three.
Kids don’t get autonomy, noooo, they’re assigned tasks. They don’t develop competence, they move with their text books on regardless of understanding. They don’t connect learning to real meaning, they connect it to grades. This is the school-survival-mode!
So after years and years and years of being treated like a stupid donkey, of course there is no motivation left! And then adults say, „See? This is why kids need to be forced.“
What I learned from my work with free-learning kids. Most of the kids who were traumatized for many years in school, need at least ONE YEAR of doing absolutely NOTHING, but e.g. playing football and hang with friends, to regulate their system, so curiosity can start growing again.
Unschooling cuts this cycle at the root.
When a kid has the freedom to pursue something that genuinely interests them, motivation is natural. Nobody has to manufacture it. You don’t need stickers or grades or punishments or surveillance. You don’t need adults to „make learning fun“ – because you didn’t break their spirit in the first place.
And here’s what most people misunderstand: When unschooling is done well, kids don’t „learn only what they like“... although I tell people all the time that this is what we do at home. But this goes much much deeper in reality. They learn what the pursuit of their goals requires.
A kid obsessed with music eventually runs into math. A kid obsessed with gaming eventually runs into reading, logic, programming, or storytelling.
The #motivation comes from direction.
The #learning comes from necessity.
The #competence comes from repetition.
The #confidence comes from ownership.
This is the cycle #school breaks. School replaces direction with compliance, necessity with obligation, repetition with pacing, and ownership with supervision. And then it wonders why motivation collapses.
The problem is not the child. The problem is the system that refuses to trust the fundamental engine of human learning: the drive to make sense of the world. And this is not even a real problem, as the school system was designed to be that way!
Unschooling doesn’t create motivated kids. It simply stops breaking them. This is why I love the #decentralized learning modell! So let's stop producing NPCs with the help of #state #school, let's start raising real human beings!
https://fountain.fm/show/0cjwJbTn6z3lPXNX8ISg
#education #family #kids #love #homeschooling #worldschooling #freedom
