๐ฎโฌ๏ธ tarot:
the distillery. the type of man who hires a doctor to slowly poison you with an incorrect prescription. the drunkenness allows you to abandon your position and to compromise your principles. desperation to prove yourself or participate. and a willingness to cause yourself harm to be seen as relevant. they approach you with an itinerary, a list, a project, a new script. it sounds amazing and you need the work. you dislike the sponsor but you do it anyway - and back into the doom loop you go. meddlesome and mean-spirited. sensitive and sweet but damaged is not sensitive and sweet - they are damaged and hissing in a corner. remember that. there is a great deal of effort in staying beside damaged - and excusing their cruelty, and the built up confidence in their excuses for cruelty. eventually the adopt it as their personality because they are not hurt when others are afraid they will be clobbered by their "cleverness". they're just clumsy sad people; but they convince everyone they're "dangerous". and right there, one of them would say "i am dangerous". and if you're healthy and see through it: you roll your eyes. they are serving moonshine in jars with the fashy lightbulb strings from wayfare, slow jazz playing and a catered long table - it's loud and the desert table has pavolva and baklava and devils food cake and you already know you're drunk. but there's a wild hair in you and you are tired and you are lonely and you are irritated and you decide it's better to be reckless than commit murder so you smile at him and leave all of your boundaries behind. and you wake up in jail the next day. because he left you outside the courthouse when you threw up and passed out wandering around downtown singing sea shantys - and he didn't want to get caught. sweet and sensitive but damaged is damaged: not sweet and sensitive. the moonshiners are making bank. and you are considering funding them with your attention, lending your stomach for experimentation. how strong is it, they leer. it sounds fun. and always remember: you do not tell hatty no.
โดฒ.
