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↩ replying to HODL
You and your spouse are a team. You’re either playing man or zone but never play against one another or those little fuckers will eat you alive! Every phase of childhood brings challenges and rewards as a parent. Breathe and learn to enjoy the messes and chaos because one day soon you’ll be looking at the back of their head as they leave the nest….and that’s not the time to try to right any regrets you hold.
↩ replying to HODL
My son is now 29. Over the weekend I had a conversation with him about his perspective about his own childhood. I wanted to know what he thought we did right, and what we may have got wrong. His answer(s): emotional stability (my translation) and consistency was what we got right right. What I got wrong: "you were always working." - that changed my entire perspective.
↩ replying to AU9913
Awesome! Twice the reward! Best advice I can give for first 6 months, when you’re tested physically and emotionally is the old adage of “this too shall pass.” When at wits end, breathe and remind yourself of the above. The wins start stacking quickly once your child starts to smile and interact with you, but the first cpl months are a marathon.
↩ replying to Justin_Tokyo
We have no help from our families so my wife is 100% on her own when I’m working with 3 young kids who are starting to wreak havoc on the house which is preventing my wife from doing basic things like clean and cook and that spills over into my work. We’re trying to go down the homeschool route but I fear we will have to run a very tight ship to do so, which could kill some of our children’s spirit, which is the opposite intention of homeschooling and the decisions we make. I don’t wish absent grandparents and extended family on my worst enemies kids. It’s a very tough road.
↩ replying to AU9913
Congratulations!!! We just had our first son 13 days ago (due date was today) the best advice we got was that if we ever feel overwhelmed due to screaming or such, put the baby down and walk away for a moment to recover. The baby can handle screaming on their own for a few minutes, but to avoid accidentally being to hard on them, if we need a moment, it's really important to take it. I love this thread with all the dads! You're all worth celebrating! Well done being awesome men, and awesome dads! I know you are because you're celebrating being dad's, and that on its own make you awesome!
↩ replying to Bandwidth Billy 🤠
They’re little humans just like you….they’re testing boundaries, seeing what they can get away with. Some are more stubborn than others…later in life obstinance can be a real gift. As far as discipline…consider that human behavior responds to a combo of the carrot and the stick. Set guidelines and communicate them. Good behavior gets the carrot, bad behavior the stick. Carrots at that age are more freedom, time to play, etc. The stick…not a physical stick but a real consequence. Could be a real meaningful timeout, loss of privileges/toys, pushups/laps if you’re coaching, etc can show that there are consequences to not following the rules of the game. Finally, be consistent with the rules, rewards and consequences with your spouse.
Old father with young kids here. My kids have given me a new perspective on life; it’s like traveling to a foreign land, confronting and exhilarating at the same time. I never felt such joy while simultaneously pulling my hair out.
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The girls here of 6 and 3 are keeping us young. And they inspire me to build a better digital space for them. Better than what YouTube Kids is offering (for example). Work in progress
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Have a 4 year old girl and a little boy arriving end of the year. My wife is amazing - watching her playing with our daughter I'm just in awe how lucky I am. Being a dad has completely changed my perspective on what's important. Would choose to be colouring in princesses with my daughter vs. any luxury you can imagine. It's also made me far more ruthless in how I approach my career. I want them to see me fulfilled and happy in my work. It helps to have some Bitcoin too - I just don't take any shit and do a good job on my own terms. I've always been mostly libertarian thinking, but having a family has also made me a bit more right wing lol 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
Trying to raise a 6 and 4 year old in this crazy world Most rewarding and challenging adventure but wouldn’t trade it for the world Still trying to figure out who are the good and bad guys…reversing 30 years of state programming is tough but at the end of the day can only worry about the things that we can control.
↩ replying to HODL
Really? Surprised. Was listening to a pod this morning titled "How to Raise Godly Children by Josh Howerton and reflecting on Proverbs 11:14.."Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." Some good bits in that talk. Would be cool if we started a string of resources sharing stuff that has impacted our parenting. A few bangers that were shared with us along the way: Bringing up Boys by Dobson, Preparation for Parenting by Ezzos (OG Christian version of BabyWise), The Heart of Humility by Gilkerson, Tuttle Twins by Boyack, Wise Words for Moms by Hubbard.
Found out yesterday I will become a dad for the 4th time. I once told my wife that we win this cultural war by bringing more good people into the world, not by bunkering down and being afraid to have children. That's what the enemy wants.
10 and 8. Latest thoughts have been on Charlie K. shooters dad, building a relationship w kids that would prevent something like this. Hard to say at what point he went wrong but the world is a f’ed up place, and the protector role is no longer just physical.
Have one but wanting at least two more. I recently read the Fourth Turning and it is incredibly eye opening. I feel the major two blindspots for intellectuals these days are understanding austrian economics and the saeculum. I know so many peers who have no plans to have children. I feel they are locking themselves into an almost permanent state of childhood without ever reaching full maturity. It seems to me you need to be fully responsible for another human being to reach that next stage of development yourself.