#Joke #Humour
I had a call from a scammer the other day
Me: “Hello.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”
Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”
Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”>;
NOT-Microsoft support: “It’s OK sir. We can help you right now. Are you in front of your device sir?”
Me: “Yes. I was just about to use it. I’m glad you called.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Yes sir, we are going to help you. Can you please push the Start button?”
Me: “I think it's already on.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Okay, sir. Now you want to click on Control Panel.”
Me: “I don’t see that.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Do you see a bunch of information above the Start button?”
Me: “Yes.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “That is your Control Panel.”
Me: “Wow, I didn’t realize it had a name.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Yes sir, now press on Internet Options.”
Me: “Yeah, I definitely don’t see any Internet options. I don’t think I purchased that feature. This is just a cheap one.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “They all have the Internet sir. Press the Start button again.”
Me: “OK, it’s the same as before.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “That’s OK sir. We are going to restart your device. Can you please turn it off?”
Me: “Ummm…I don’t know how. I’ve never turned it off. Since I bought it, it just kind of stays on all the time.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “There must be an off button on your device. How do you stop it when it’s running?”
Me: “In those cases, I usually press the big button.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “OK sir. Please press that button.”
Me: “Ok.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Is your device off?”
Me: “No. The door popped open.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Door? Is there a disc inside the door?”
Me: “No, there’s a burrito.”
NOT-Microsoft support: “Why is there a burrito in your computer?”
Me: “Computer? I thought you said this was microwave support.”
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Replies (5)
@npub19upd...hqxw Are you... my father? 😂
@npub19upd...hqxw *BEEP BEEP BEEP*
@npub19upd...hqxw
Very nicely done.
Back when I got a lot of calls (I was working in software tech support at the time; oh the irony) I made it a sport to keep them on the line for as long as possible. So that they couldn't scam anyone during that time.
You did well there. :)
@npub19upd...hqxw a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away I did tech support for a software company that sold products on "floppy" discs. Those disc drives had little latches you would flip down to secure the disc, and begin reading/writing. We called them "doors."
I was on a call with a customer who was having a problem with their software. I asked them to put the floppy disc in the drive and close the door.
I heard the phone placed on the desk, then footsteps, then the sound of a door closing, then footsteps, then the phone picked back up, and then, "OK, I've closed the door. Now what?"