social media teaches us to stop caring about spelling, or logic, or manners, or humanity

Hours stretched on, the sun set, another mealtime passed without food. "Please," I wept, rolling the Monopoly dice. "I just want to go home!"

“we’re making good time” nah man fuck that clock wizard shit—that time’s gonna be evil as fuck

It’s the kind of cold rainy day where you curl up by the window with a cup of tea and a good book. Hope your boss doesn't notice.

trust your instincts unless they suck

patty cake patty cake baker’s man

Star Trek is so unrealistic—they should all be non-stop watching funny Tribble videos

Happy fucking Thanksgiving, The New Yorker

At what financial inflection point does one transition from believing taxes are a reasonable tool for funding government programs to becoming a hungry ghost whose desire for wealth can never be satiated?

Just try to deny it, The New Yorker.