Plant Spotlight: Where Did St. John Get the Worts? (plant-based content)
Most people think of St. John's Wort as nature's anti-depressant, but it does so much more than that. This noble plant, known for flowering at the summer solstice, was believed to have the power to not only protect against ill health but also evil influences. All I know is I have a lot of it and there are no jews in my garden, so maybe it works. Even though this is one of the most used herbal medicines in the world, I wanted to make sure people knew it can cure you of more than feeling sorry for yourself.
St. John's Wort, or Hypericum Perforatum, thrives all around the world in temperate regions. It likes sun, well drained soil, and is typically best sown in the fall to come up the following year, like a lot of herbs, mimicking the natural cycle of plants going to seed in the summer, seeds hitting the ground in the fall, and resting comfortably until the following spring. Many seeds require certain temperature changes to kickstart germination and that's another reason for this. They will "know" if you planted them at the wrong time. The name "Perforatum" comes from the holes you can see in the flower petals when you hold it up to the sun. In fact, in French it was called "Millepertuis", or "a thousand holes".
This is another herb that goes much farther back than usage in recent history. In Ancient Greece, thousands of years ago, we knew this to be a treatment for sciatica and wounds and bites in addition to being a sleep aid and calmative. Another herb spoken of by Pliny, and Hippocrates, and Dioscorides, this belongs in any poaster's medicinal toolkit. Nero took this herb on the reg to protect himself from poison. It got its name when Christianity took over, with its blooming at the summer solstice, a time of veneration for St. John the Baptist, and the red pigment of the flower likened to the blood from his beheading. Apparently it's pretty good at repelling demons, hanging this thing over your doors will keep the jews out, because they're terrified of pretty flowers (hard to figure out what to molest, even with a thousand holes). Crusaders carried this herb as a protection against evil, perhaps more indication of its storied history as a kike repellent.
Traditionally it was used as a dye as well, getting colors of yellow to red to infuse into clothes to make the world just that much more gay (HAPPY, ASSHOLE) in the winsome and bucolic summer evenings.
So why plant it? First off, plant it somewhere only you have access to it, it's not good for many animals, especially if they achieve free access to it. Even in humans you shouldn't overdo it. The key actions of this herb are as an antidepressant, anxiolytic (anti anxiety), antiviral, anti-inflammatory, and for catalyzing wound healing.
Studies have shown the red pigment in the petals and leaves have strong anti-viral activity, so the blood of John the Baptist really was protecting them way back when, even if they didn't get why ("I dunno, shit just works, bro, plant that shit."). It works on the flu, hepatitis if you're a filthy degenerate, and even the herps, if you're that special kind of degenerate, and all this is proven in clinical study. Contrary to what you may have heard, it's not that the plant has so many side effects, more that it can interact with any jewish medicines you might be taking, especially ones that affect neurotransmitters since it has its own actions on them.
It's often used as a nerve tonic, because it's a restorative and neuroprotective, and due to its calming effects can help with sleep problems as well. You know me, no plant or pill can "cure" depression. But you can have things help get you on the path. In the end, you have to find the source of the anxiety in your life and confront it. That's the only true fix for mental health, but while you wait, you can get a little help from your frens (growing outside your window, and the real ones that shitpoast). It's helpful with mood alterations from menopause as well.
The oil of St. John's wort has potent wound healing properties, can treat things like snake bites, stab wounds and cuts, and even simple things like promoting healing after surgery, or burns. The anti-inflammatory action of most plants is always beneficial with healing a wound. People also use it on their lower back for sciatica pain, singles pain relief, and even toothaches.
A simple steeping the herb in oil for several weeks to a few months will create a nice infused oil for wound treatment. Creams, tinctures, infusions, teas, are also all valid preparations.
So what are you waiting for, gardening poaster? Get some started this Fall, buy a started plant this Spring, and grow, grow like there's a tribe of rhinoceran monsters coming to genocide you and molest your kids, because there is.
Please poast responsibly.
