Awakening is untying a knot only to discover there is no rope.

For you to be you You need me to be me But I am unknowable So who are you?

There is something perverse about being drawn into a disagreement. Like the universe is telling you to play the game again until you’ve learnt your lesson. I’m a really slow learner. The way out is seeing there is no way out. “here I am again! Hah! I must like it here. Why do I want this? Why do I want to feel this again?”

The Mind *sets criteria* *purveys the landscape* *filters for matches* *filters for deviations* The aperture of experience dilates. Letters on a sign. The mind reads. Experience shows it’s just random shapes. The body-mind reacts. Is this panic or excitement? It’s happening! Not now, I’m driving! It’s gone.

Some people appear in your life to remind you you’re an idiot. Some people appear to tell you they’re afraid of being an idiot by calling you one. Idiot is a relative term. It is in fact meaningless. We all just want to feel love. But love is here and now. It cannot be given, nor taken away. There’s never any more nor less of it. It doesn’t rise and fall, wax nor wane. If someone calls you an idiot, know they are actually deeply wounded. Dumbass.

We got a house with a garden. The wife didn’t calculate looking after the garden into our daily lives. Negotiating having to cut the grass is exhausting. Like I have something to do with it. Getting in her way of a happy life. I do the same thing of course. We all do it. Until we don’t.

Ridicule and retreat. The calling card of the coward. Do you pull the covers up high enough at night? In the dark. I’m still with you. Whispering. “Looser”

What the heck is a “spiritual materialist?” Some smart boi “corrected me” by saying there’s no separate category with nothingness and then proceeded to categorise me as such. Dickhead #asknostr