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i have a friend of mine in real life that has exactly this kind of mindset, and i am gravely disappointed by his own decision.
He always ranted about the past trauma that he had, Still questioning "why" until i figured his own problem after observing and literally suggested him to change himself so he could interact with everyone. I don't force, But he refused under the reason that it "limits him" without any clear detail on what was limiting him on such boundaries.
I only told him to set a boundary on what he can and cannot do when he's in public, only explaining it to him. But he still refused under the same reason and this time "limiting him to be himself".
I asked again, what was actually limiting him, he answered "i don't know".
...huh?
guess i could see why the circle keeps looping. His own decision make him be as what he is today, which is disappointing for someone that tries to help him recover. the boundaries that i recommend to him is basically just some kind of self-protection when he roams in public just so he didn't destroy his own image. but since he did it that way,
well. let's say, i give an ultimatum to him.
"we will stop talking to eachother starting from now."
> "but i still need you"
"well, now i give you two choices, either you change yourself or just don't talk to me again."
> "can i know what each options do?"
"no."
so i give him time to answer, and he said:
> "then i choose adjust because i think you're not gonna leave me"
"does that will contribute to what i want you to achieve?"
> "yes, i think yes because...."
> "that what you trying to do"
**"will it help you?"**
> "for me,, its a no
> but for you and possibly others, a yes based on what you trying to do"
...
i am gravelly disappointed.
dude, i know you don't know this. but if one day you stumbled on this post of mine, let me just get you straight:
**that is not exactly what i wanted. period.**
