To deny freedom and privacy to everyone because some might abuse it makes freedom and privacy impossible impossible. Lightning is going through 3rd party major nodes decreasing privacy and security. This is not remotely better than Monero.
Teenagers are not children that need protecting from the internet. They very much need open sources of information outside parental control. Besides your teenage kids are likely to be better at tech than you are.
The Bible is full of contradictions and myths. Not a valid guide except for some general decent philosophy in places.
Some sort of event bus decoupling would work. one time hash associated with request. Requester subscribes to information with that hash. Any simple IP logging defeated by VPN. No tracking by public key.
Are there other options than parting with a nostr private key?