Over the next week, I might note down a few more thoughts whenever I have time. (Or I might not. These days, I live as if today is my last. Not in a desperate way, but because I see no reason to plan for tomorrow. So, to at least make it through until tomorrow, I need to consciously avoid situations that stress me out or sap my motivation, and instead turn my attention, like a sunflower, to people who can provide me with some positive vibes.) During that time, I'm sure lower and more childish revenge attacks like yesterday's will come my way.🤔 So, try harder, pickme!💪 Create your own valuable notes that could give him material for retaliation! Not the note written by ChatGPT!🥹 Why do you dare to pretend to know about topics you barely understand, huh?🤣 I just randomly called her "pickme" based on a hunch and experiential trauma, but it turned out she was really a pickme..😨 You might still mistakenly think that your embarrassing action, which you believe to be some sort of retaliation, can provoke my emotions, making me angry or frustrated. But I hope you can now acknowledge that your time of exerting such influence over me ended three years ago.🙂 For the past three years, there was someone I genuinely loved, you know. Even if he was merely a fake hero I created myself. Even if his sole purpose was just to capture my attention like hunting. Back then, because I didn't fully understand what kind of man he was, maybe I was thankful for him trying so hard to win over (just hitting on😑) my stray heart. Thanks to him, I was able to move on so quickly from the sense of betrayal you caused me. That's why I tried to stay loyal to him, even when I realized midway that something was seriously wrong. And so, now, even if I see his mask coming off, no living, breathing person can overcome such feelings overnight. Especially if my emotions came purely from sincere human affection, without any sort of plot or something. If a real human being, anyone would need at least a minimum amount of time to recover from the sudden shock and disappointment. But as undeniable facts increasingly reveal that he was a mere illusion I created, I'll probably regain a sense of reality soon, and this tiresome *invisible* saga will come to a permanent close. If the revenge porn of Valentine's Day was the Styx I could never cross back to Xitter again, then the cringy $5 revenge playback that causes secondhand embarrassment has become the Valentine's Day moment of Nostr. :) I could brush it off as something trivial, but I can't understand or feel the need to tolerate why you still treat me with such disrespect and insult. How dare you think you have the right to drag me like that when I owe you nothing? Even putting aside the one-sided time and devotion or the money lost from investing in your company's stocks, if we’re going to sink to something as petty as talking about money, rather, haven't I spent quite a lot money on you? And yet, have I ever once brought that up to you until now? Who said I'm just free stuff? Is that how you act when someone treats you well without expecting anything in return? That being said, I can't fight and win against the king in your kingdom, so it's better to just avoid the 💩. I'll walk away. It's only disappointing to once again learn that people never truly change for the better.

I no longer have personal affection for the king here, but at the same time, I don't have any bad feelings either, as I already wrote before. (Isn't it an *objective* fact that we don't know each other at all?🤷‍♀️) I also don't want to know any TMI about his personal relationships, so I just let it go, took my sleeping pills (as usual) and slept well. But today, I suddenly thought that, if someone is uncomfortable because of me here, that's not what I want. Actually, I'm not sure if I am the one who feels uncomfortable or if I'm uncomfortable because someone else is uncomfortable because of me. Either way, now I feel uncomfortable too. Due to the (babytrap) revenge porn case that occurred last Valentine's Day (the victim being a man, but not pitiful as he shot himself in the temple), I had to frantically escape from a house swarming with cockroaches. I had no plan—no idea where to run, what *strategy* to use for marketing posts (kinda mockery), or how to attempt networking with other users (again, kinda mockery). I was in complete panic mode, just needing a space to scream, "HOLY MUTHAFUCKA, FUCKING SHIT! I'VE BEEN DRENCHED IN A RAIN OF COCKROACHES!🤬🤬 IT'S SO FILTHY AND DISGUSTING I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!!!🤢🤢🤢" Now, that panic has somewhat subsided..😑, I've decided I can no longer tolerate childish attempts to drag me back into that ole pathetic Squid Game AGAIN, like what happened yesterday. (I already made it clear that I would no longer participate in this kind of mind game.) So, I've decided to leave this place too. To ensure I don't reverse my decision, I'll give myself one week buffer to confirm my resolve. After that, I plan never to access this platform (alright alright, protocol, fine?) again, even anonymously. Avoiding the posts of a few named users in this small pool is nearly impossible. (I didn't realize it until I became a user myself, but it feels like there are fewer than 100 users here! It's not mockery but just true, and I don't find it particularly bad. However, this client has a structural flaw where, even if the number of users increased a hundredfold, it would still feel like the same group of users, and honestly, that cannot be considered an advantage.) I didn't think I had any reason to avoid his name, so I tried to casually blend in as just another random user. However, after yesterday's $5 retaliation show, I've come to a clear realization: unless I sever all ties with him in every possible way, I'll never escape the discomfort of being treated like this for the rest of my life. I just shared my opinion as usual. He could simply convince me of a valid reason why everyone should unanimously praise that blogger or just ignore as always, but why got so defensive and the same old show?😧

But I don't have the energy to waste on someone I no longer have personal affection for,😑 there was no need to give the sadist the reaction he wanted like old days, so I just said what I originally intended to say and went to sleep. (I still have so much to say about that extreme and dangerous pseudo-philosopher cosplayer p2p dealer whatever.😡 That nobody, even more insignificant than me, has turned the tech industry into a childish cult pigsty!🤬)

Actually, after I wrote this note last night, I already saw the petty $5 revenge. Considering it's been over 10 years of the same pattern of harassment, it was impossible not to notice it was aimed at me. (?? In 2025, why?😧)

What tf is this grotesque ad??😨 Let's see.. I visited the Clip Studio Paint site a couple of days ago, often mentioned Leatherface from Texas recently.🙄 The bizarre hybrid created by my online activities..?😭

I believe one of the challenges facing modern societies is being influenced by these kinds of rando bloggers. (I totally ripped Cunt Yarvin to shreds with AI before, pretty sure there's the screenshot somewhere.. Later.) Those who aren't easily brainwashed don't even bother reading such shallow armchair sociology/philosophy books. They read more fundamental works instead. For Silicon Valley to regain the INNOVATION it had in the past, I mean, before the PayPal Mafia took over, it needs to break free from this unpleasant circle of humanities cosplay fake (self-proclaimed) "intellectuals". As someone from a STEM background who performed significantly better in the field of humanities, I want to say this: don't need to be swayed by the salesman-like eloquence of humanities/liberal arts majors. WORDS ARE EASY and they cannot normally accomplish anything practical in the STEM field. I hope the real nerds, the ones who major in STEM and are genuinely happy pulling all-nighters for research in labs, reclaim their rightful position. Not these *influencers* who leech off their connections with tech billionaires. I'm not just talking about this author, but about that entire circle full of fraudsters. If we expand further, it all traces back to Peter Gay, the root cause of this misguided roadmap for the tech world. I’m fortunate that I already developed personal perspectives in my childhood, shaped by self-learning across all kinds of fields, to the point where I am not influenced by these kinds of superficial book sellers. Meanwhile, I am deeply ashamed to have been born into an era where this bunch of obvious bullshit is sold as books rather than casually discussed with friends at the pub and this is what is called humanities or sociology.

It seems true that Google is voluntarily censoring itself regarding Trump..🤔 Look at this. First of all, it took me quite a while just to google this infamous *fuck* photo. (Isn't it almost like his signature photo?😧) Even after using Google Lens to find a higher quality version, look at the poor results.😂 Since I don't tailor my searches to my native language, it's funny that one of the few search results is from KoreaTimes.🤣 Not a single major newspaper familiar to Americans appears. Perhaps the media have already been self-censoring before Google. I’m not sure if this is really Big Tech and the media bowing to the Trump administration or, as I wrote the other day, an effort to block AI learning. Checked if it was influenced by legal restrictions like CA's AI regulation bill last year, but it seems unrelated to the law that public news article photos of celebrities aren't searchable. If that's the case, flattering photos of Trump shouldn't be searchable either.🤭 "Results for people are limited"? Since when?🥴 What a cowardly excuse bullshit. Well, it might just be a coincidence, and the results could vary depending on the region or situation, but anyway, the biggest change I’ve noticed in my googling experience compared to before is with image searches. If I missed any news or if there's a new regulation I don't know about, someone please reply. But it's unlikely that this note will be read by Nostr users.😑