Many problems in life are resolved through increased agency. More effort. More self-control. More disciplined action. As those problems come under control, a different class of problem appears. These require a different response. Progress comes through restraint, relaxation, acceptance, and the capacity to let go. The transition between these modes is difficult. A person who has learned to solve everything through action often struggles to recognize when action has reached diminishing returns. Learning when to stop, when to release tension, and when to allow outcomes to unfold belongs in the same toolbox as effort and discipline. Mastery requires both.

Always be escalating.

A lot of what we are calling 'mental health issues' are immaturity issues that society has pathologized for profit.

My wife and I went out to dinner. We came home, sent the babysitter off, and my youngest boy, Henry, walks up to me: “Daddy!” He hugs me and presses his face so hard against mine to kiss me. He confuses the strength of his hug and kiss with how intensely he feels about you, so he presses so hard it hurts, because he is just so happy we returned. He is clapping his hands, jumping up and down, absolutely thrilled. His brother, on the other hand, did not say much, he has a flu, half-awake and half-asleep. But Henry always makes you feel so happy to come home.

Almost every marriage that's on the rocks could be saved if the couple would just have more and better sex. As little as 2x or 3x a week would restore the relationship.

“I feel like I never get a break. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the kids needing something every minute, it never ends. I am always on duty, and no one sees how constant it is.” “I am tired of carrying everything for the family. Working long hours, paying every bill, fixing what breaks, keeping the house and yard in shape, handling the decisions and the pressure, it is relentless. I wake up knowing there is always another task waiting.” Women often express frustration about the repetitive nature of child care and domestic work, just as some men express frustration about the constant demands of providing, protecting, and leading. Both sets of complaints treat the cyclical nature of these roles as if repetition itself were a flaw. A healthier framing is that these responsibilities are privileges, not burdens. They are the core expressions of being a wife, a husband, a mother, or a father. Parenting is not endless. The period in which children need us daily is brief. They grow, they become independent, and the direct responsibilities fade far sooner than most people expect. The very tasks that feel monotonous are part of a short, irreplaceable window in which parents have maximum influence. To resent that window is to misunderstand its value. Far better to treasure it while it exists. Similarly, the care spouses provide to one another is not unilateral sacrifice. It is reciprocal exchange based on comparative strengths. Each person gives what he or she is naturally better at giving and receives what is needed in return. When understood properly, that exchange is not a drain but a source of stability, intimacy, and cooperation. The problem is not the work itself but the framing. Treating repeating duties as “endless drudgery” blinds people to the meaning embedded in them. Seeing those duties as privileges clarifies their purpose: a chance to build a family, support a spouse, shape children, and create continuity. The work repeats, but it does not imprison; it enriches us.

"Why can groups of masculine men cooperate and form effective teams far easier than effeminate men, women or mixed groups?" - Question from a reader. Revoy’s Law: “Given sufficient time, truthful feedback from reality, and personal responsibility for consequences, honest masculine men will tend to converge on the same general conclusions about reality and the institutional conditions for sustainable human cooperation, regardless of their initial beliefs.” Revoy’s Corollary: “Under survival pressure, disparate men converge rapidly on masculine norms of hierarchy, enforcement, and direct coordination, because these are the only strategies that minimize death and maximize group success.” Short version: “Under threat, reality and responsibility, honest men converge.”

I was seventeen. At a dance. I met a girl with very short hair. Otherwise she was stunning. Black hair. Crystal blue eyes. Very light skin. French. I asked her to dance. Half way through the song I asked why her hair was so short. She said, I am going to die in six months or so. It did not click at first. She looked healthy. I did not understand what that had to do with her hair. We kept dancing. Over and over. I think two thirds of my dances that night were with her. I enjoyed her company. She was charming. Soft. Gentle. Beautiful. Kind. Sweet. French Canadian. There was a small language barrier. It did not matter. Her warmth came through. I met a few of her friends that night. I kept in touch with them for a couple of years. She had told the truth. She died a little over a year later. Cancer. Her hair was short because she had been through chemo. She was in that in-between period. Recovering. A little hair had grown back. I think about her from time to time, grateful for the few moments we enjoyed together. As hard as life can feel, we are still alive. She could have sat in sorrow complaining about her life. Instead, she chose a night with friends. A fancy dress party. Dancing. Being sweet. Being herself. She faced death with a stoic calm that puts many men to shame. She spoke of it as if it were nothing. No big deal. There is a lesson in that. It is hard to enjoy life if you focus on complaints. No matter how bad it gets, choose time with loved ones. Choose small joys. Choose what matters. Do that, and you will not only enjoy your life. However short it is, it will mean something.

>Write a clear thesis. Give it to the LLM. >Command it to clarify and steelman your claim. >Then command it to critique the claim. >Repeat the cycle until the idea survives attack. You will obtain the best results when you restrict the LLM to a defined grammar, domain, and standard of judgment.

When People Lack Skill, They Mistake Causality for Luck Many people assume outcomes are governed by luck because their understanding, skill, and capacity are too limited to perceive the causal forces at work. When we cannot see the steps and principles governing life, we imagine it is largely up to chance. Every domain has an underlying structure. Experts navigate that structure intentionally, applying knowledge, judgment, and timing to get the results they want. Novices, unable to detect those patterns, watch the same actions and interpret them as luck or fortune. This is a feature of human cognition: low competence reduces our resolution of causal detail. When the details become a blur, events feel unpredictable. We label that uncertainty as "luck" because it is the easiest explanation. The more skill we build, the more we see how outcomes emerge from choices, habits, preparation, and discipline. What once looked like chance becomes transparent, understandable. What once felt arbitrary now becomes controllable. When skill replaces superstition. Understanding replaces luck and capability replaces guesswork. People who cultivate mastery do not rely on luck. At the same time, we must acknowledge that chance is real. Life contains uncertainty, and not every variable is under our command. But the more we believe that our decisions matter, and the more capable we become at making and executing on those decisions, the more we expand the sphere of our control. Agency is the ability to turn our intentions into outcomes of our choosing. In difficult environments, where threats are high and opportunities scarce, only those with highly developed agency can consistently move forward. When life is hard, it is not luck that separates people. It is the degree of control they cultivate over themselves and their choices. I will teach you how to develop your agency.