I don't have a sweet tooth, most people will pick up a donut, or a chocolate bar as a treat to have on the way home from the supermarket. I grab a packet of corned beef and eat it by the sheet in the car.
My landlord evicted me during the pandemic. Anyway we both work in the same small industry that centres around a mailing list you basically have to be on to operate. Guess who's an admin. Guess who just applied to join. Guess who just got silently rejected.
Fesshole Live is coming to Leicester, Luton and Leeds β get your tickets now! Weβre also taking the show to Sweden (MalmΓΆ, GΓΆteborg, Stockholm) and doing Anon Opin in Leicester.
When in London on the tube I walk very fast everywhere like I have an office to get to. I insist on walking on the right up/down escalators, pretending to be a Londoner. I'm actually a country bumpkin who visits a couple of times a year.
To settle an argument, I did a blind taste test to see if you can tell a tin of steak in gravy from a tin of swanky dog food chunks in gravy. You absolutely can. The tinned steak wasn't great but bloody hell that dog food was disgusting.
"He puts his trousers on one leg at a time, just like everyone else." The teacher who said that inspired me to put them both legs at once. I tried the next morning at the top of the stairs. I broke my left leg and wasted my dad's morning. Turns out, one leg at a time is fine.
I work at a quite posh hotel. There's a wedding reception most weeks. My favorite are the Jewish weddings, not for the celebration, but for spying the number of lapsed faithful who'll sneak some bacon under their breakfast and find out of the way tables to eat it
I caught my wife shouting 'nonce' at our dog. Apparently she had no idea what it really meant and has been doing it for years in public thinking it was just what you said when someone was naughty.
I'm a married woman. I don't embarrass easily, but I've discovered recently that there's nothing more mortifying than not having to do a pregnancy test before a hospital procedure because you haven't had sex in ages.
His fess I guess, but thought husband was sneaking off most nights to watch porn, didn't really care but curiousity got the best of me, checked his browser history. He's playing chess. At 2am. Multiple times a week. Worst part is, I saw his ELO, he's not even any good.
