I Show You I Love You By Being The Most Me Once, I was not confident in who I was. I believed toxic monogamous scripts that called for demonstrating my love through sacrifice - giving up paths I might have walked, selves I might have chosen, relationships I might have formed, loves I might have kindled, to consecrate my love for one person in the blood of my own potential. My partner did not ask this self-butchery of me. It arose from the interplay of who I am with all the things society told me I had to be. In order to play those roles, I had to sacrifice myself. And society encouraged that sacrifice. And it encouraged isolation. Because connection is powerful. Connection with who we are. Connection with who we can choose to be. Connection with each other, on terms we define for ourselves. These are the connections society wants us to sacrifice to profane the one connection permitted under monogamy’s aegis. I reject these demands. I am a glorious being, ever becoming myself. I will not turn towards my partner, wiping my own blood off my hands as I fit myself into a box provided by the patriarchy in the size and shape of her desires. I share my luminosity with her, that she might know I love her not because I fit perfectly in a box eternally by her bedside, but because I do not. Without that box, I must learn myself and my partner better than I ever thought to know anyone, deeper than I knew was possible. I cannot rely on the chains of society to support us; for my transgressions against its rules, society would sunder my connections. To accept my love is to be outcast. This may be the farthest afield I have ever asked her to walk beside me.

My wife saw this and was like, “I found a meme of you!”

Fabulous article by @🌈Lucy🏳️‍⚧️ | Revoluciana:

Revoluciana

Say Trans Genocide

To our last breaths, we will be asking you to save us from trans genocide, and most of you will still be afraid to #SayTheWord genocide.

And her post about it:

Chaosfem

🌈Lucy🏳️‍⚧️ | Revoluciana (@revoluciana@chaosfem.tw)

I need you to #SayTheWord genocide. I need you to stop fearing the word more than you fear #trans oppression. This is critical. You have every ri...

Here’s the bit that hit me hardest: “Why are you more afraid of the word than what will happen to us, and what is happening already? Are you afraid you will be wrong? Why are you not afraid of what will happen if you don't say it? Why are you not more afraid of losing us than being wrong? I hope you say the word and you are wrong. With every fiber of my being, I want you to say it and be wrong. I want this to not be genocide. But I already know the truth, and so do you. You already know this is trans genocide. So fucking say it. #SayTheWord genocide.”

When I tell you I’m #trans, I’m not telling you about the history of my body - my body is as you see it, and it’s uncomfortable that you think it’s okay to imagine what you cannot see because it’s hidden by clothing, time, or both. I’m not fishing for compliments - I already know I’m stunning, and I totally do fish for compliments, just not like that. I’m not telling you about my romantic and sexual life - I have lots of other words for that, and the relevant ones are “that’s private.” I’m not even telling you about my gender - my name, pronouns, and gender presentation have already said everything I intend to say on the subject. I’m telling you about pain. I’m telling you that I’ve been pickled in emotional agony, like a specimen in brine - it was all I knew. Emerging brought new horrors, as I uncovered and mourned the ways my body was wrong for me, suffered to remake it, dug up my emotional daemons only to have them eviscerate me, tore at the people closest to me and starred with sadness and acceptance at the wounds I made, discovered gaping holes in my memories, hugged myself in the depths of believing myself unworthy of compassion, and cried in the dark with the need for affirmation. I’m telling you about joy. I’m telling you I thrill to be myself, and I cherish every detail of living authentically, no matter how small. With the pain for contrast, my experience of joy is soaring and unfettered. I revel in the mundane and the outrageous in equal measure. Each and every day is a treasure: another day sick at home in bed, as Myself: Rhinovirus Edition? Marvelous. A day filled with adventure, affirmation, and new friends? Superb. Being myself is inexpressibly wonderful; I wish you could know this joy. 1/2

Fascists treat Queer People like a Renewable Resource Public, group-endorsed murder is an easy expression of power. Possibly the easiest. “Look, we are killing this person. If you don’t do what we tell you, we’ll kill you, too. Killing clearly doesn’t bother us.” It’s why the organized mass murder of out-groups is used by fascists to enforce in-group unity. Queer folks occur naturally in all human populations. How many is somewhat influenced by what is considered queer or not in any given culture, but we arise consistently. This makes us, by the very nature of human variation, a population that is NOT immediately individually identifiable as an out-group from birth, but a population that can be counted on to exist, lurking, in all general populations. In other words, we are a perfect fit for a scapegoat population: we are subject to witch hunts - anyone MIGHT be queer, so policing activities can be justified because we are not necessarily obvious. We have inherent urges to live authentically, so there IS available evidence for identifying us. We engage in behaviors that can be portrayed as deviant or dangerous to the general population, specifically to the patriarchal order promoted by fascism. And no matter how many of us they slaughter, there will always be more of us by the time the next political crisis rolls around. This is why fascists find us to be so politically useful. They can never wipe us out; the genocide is continuous. They use that genocide to make the general population complicit in their crime and to provide examples of their willingness to use horrifying and deadly force to coerce obedience. Before I understood this, I hoped that I might one day live in a world that is not hostile to me as a queer person. Now, I understand that I will live my life in a world where fascists hunt me, either with the power of the state or in the goal of attaining that power. My life as a queer person is an act of resistance. Every breath I take in the knowledge of my truth is valuable. Every day I live authentically is a statement about how the world should be. Every life I shine my light into will carry that experience forward, the ripples of my radical self-acceptance and centering of love, emotion, and humanity spreading outwards. They will never stop hunting us. Every day I do not live authentically is a day they steal from me. One day, I will be dead. I choose to live all the days between then and now authentically.