I wonder what should i do best for things and materials from others that is left to me as a meaningful part of ownself memories. Back in the teenage years, i mostly throw these away and sometimes forget it because its not functionally useful in value.
But now, as i grow becoming an adult. Im gradually starting to realize the emotional attachment value, and throwing these stuff away may looked as insensitiveness and would hurt/disappoint to the giver when they know/realizing it.
huft. A time capsule might be an interesting option, but i dont really feel like to open it again.
Day by day it feels getting more irrelevant for holding a relation/network of friendship to my colleagues from several circles. I can only consider them as an acquaintances instead of friends, since i no longer share anything that is personally meaningful from myself to them and vice versa.
I guess the naivety thought of everyone is friends in the youth year doesn't really work well in adult reality. As year passes by, its becoming rigid on how ourselves filtering out someone who has worthy and meaningful enough to be shared.
It feels underappreciated if you live with someone when you spend most of the time doing the house chores but there are no sharing of the burden load. So you end up doing it by yourself as a matter of obligation which is needed to make your environment more bearable because its clean, yet someone other than yourself rather piling up more burden to you by cleaning their shit.
I kinda understand how parents feels now.
i wish i could do less thinking about "what should i do next/after this?" to manage myself properly and just do the job. But then again, if i less thinking about it. I can feel how robotic and dull my life everyday if it goes on autopilot mode.
ah yes,
i have that "must be nice having a girlfriend" mood coming back again
although realistically i already despise it as a bullshit burdening obligation in the run
freak brain
