A woman waiting on the platform with us looks at her phone and furrows her brow. “Uh-oh,” she says, “Looks like there’s a problem with the trolley.” I, a former philosophy student, snap to attention. “This is it. I’ve trained for this.”

I don’t want to take the beaten path. I want the path that won.

I received a private mention from a stranger today, asking “Can’t I speak to you privately?” I believe you just did.

Physics tell us that information can't travel faster than the speed of light, unless it's about leftover pizza in the breakroom.

Try to conduct your personal affairs in such a way that, should your private life ever be made public, people won’t be debating the definition of “pedophile.”

In the event of stairs, use the fire. Wait. Let me start over. #WaitLetMeStartOver

Dense like nobody's watching.

It's my birthday today! We celebrated yesterday by SPENDING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS HAVING A NEW HVAC SYSTEM INSTALLED. Our furnace failed right as things started getting cold at the end of October. So, my birthday wish is a simple request: we were able to handle this crisis, but many people are facing things that they cannot handle alone. If you see a mutual aid request this week and you can swing it, pitch in a few bucks (and even if you can't, lend your voice by boosting it).

My ex*. * ~ former Mastodon mutual

A lot of people are celebrating their Fediversaries in November. Mine is not in November, but today is my, uh, Fediversary of life. We should probably have a word for that.