“Mo Money, Mo Problems.” –Me, introducing my colleague Maurice Money to our new recruit, Maureen Problems #IHaveAWayWithWords

Novelist Stephen King suffers from Maine Character Syndrome.

No shoes, no shirt, November.

At least one hashtag I’ve founded has now been shown to induce madness. #SquadGoals

Climate Justice Social

PaulaToThePeople 😷 (@PaulaToThePeople@climatejustice.social)

Content warning: Don't read the WaitLetMeStartOver hashtag if you want to sleep ever again

I’m my own most mid frenemy.

Did you know that some Mastodon client apps allow you to set notifications on an individual profile? That way, you will get an immediate alert, allowing you to interact with their posts as soon as they make them! Follow me for more tips on how to seem like a psychotic stalker!

Good work, everyone. Daylight is safe. Go ahead and take the rest of the day off.

Screw it, I'm just going to going to stay up the extra hour. I'm not going to be able to sleep in, because there's no way to set a four-year-old back by one hour. #DaylightSavingTime

“Developing mania from a chatbot and falling in love with it? That seems far-fetched,” I post in the midst of the stream of increasingly unhinged messages I send to a hundred Mastodon accounts that I feel closer to than my own family.

Climate change has impacted many animals’ migration patterns. That’s why Christmas shows up earlier in stores.