Two goldfish are in a tank.
...
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
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I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
...
They'd crack each other up.
Why did the phone go to therapy?
...
It lost all its contacts.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon?
...
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I startled my next-door neighbor with my new electric power tool.
...
I had to calm him down by saying “Don’t worry, this is just a drill!”
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
...
Because they might crack up.
What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?
...
A steak.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
...
A carrot.
What do you call a detective alligator?
...
An investi-gator.
