Off topic. Hey, nostriches, good morning! Matheus here, just venting about something that happened to me recently.
I just got out of a relationship that lasted around 90 days. It was short, but intense and quite complex. I was her first boyfriend, her first experience in many ways — including her first time — and we lived through a lot of new things together. I introduced her to my family, she introduced me to hers, and we initially got to know each other through her mother. Everything seemed beautiful, aligned, and promising.
Over time, however, something happened that changed everything. I saw her flirting with another guy right in front of me. I watched it happen and even laughed, because she seemed completely out of touch — she didn’t even realize what she was doing. When we left the place, I confronted her. At first, she denied it and tried to turn the situation around, so I chose to stay quiet and observe. A few minutes later, she ended up confessing.
At that moment, I decided to end things. I took her to her mother’s house and told her what had happened. I spoke with her mother, who took my side and said something that really stuck with me: “If she does this in front of you, imagine what she does behind your back.”
Today, I understand that one of my mistakes was accelerating things too much. We slept together, quickly fell into a couple’s routine — she even spent three days in a row at my place. That creates attachment, even when you think you’re focused and in control. Even though I kept taking care of my own life, it’s inevitable to remember those moments.
Lesson learned. For the younger guys: sleeping together too early accelerates emotional bonding. Many times, you only understand this after feeling the impact.
Something that helped me a lot — both during the relationship and in leaving it without remorse, keeping only the good memories — was being brutally honest. Be honest from the start, so you can sleep with a clear conscience when an inevitable breakup happens. And be congruent: words and actions need to be aligned. Don’t be hypocrites.