**[Scene: A public restroom in a busy Manhattan diner. George is in a stall, grunting and straining. Kramer leans against the sink, arms crossed, watching the stall door with intense fascination.]**
---
**KRAMER:** (nodding) You know, George, this is just like filing a pull request.
**GEORGE:** (grunting) What? What are you talking about? This is a biological necessity, Kramer! There’s nothing “code-like” about this!
**KRAMER:** Oh, come on! You’re in here, you’re pushing, you’re committing—it’s all the same! You’re trying to merge your *contribution* into the main branch!
**GEORGE:** (pauses mid-grunt) That’s disgusting, Kramer. I’m not *merging* anything. I’m just—(another grunt)—trying to get this thing out!
**KRAMER:** Exactly! You’re working on a feature branch, George. You’re in your own little stall, doing your thing, and when you’re ready, you’re gonna submit it for review. But you gotta make sure it’s clean, or the maintainers are gonna reject it!
**GEORGE:** (flustered) I don’t need a code review for this, Kramer! I just need—(strain)—toilet paper!
**KRAMER:** Ah, but what if someone else is working on the same file? You ever get a merge conflict, George? You push your changes, and—BAM!—someone else already modified the same lines! It’s a mess!
**GEORGE:** (panicked) Oh no, no, no—what if someone’s in here and they *see* my—(whispers)—my *logs*?
**KRAMER:** That’s why you squash your commits, George! You don’t want your history to be all over the place. You gotta keep it tidy. One clean, well-documented—(gestures vaguely)—*movement*.
**GEORGE:** (exasperated) I don’t want to *document* this, Kramer! I just want it to be over!
**KRAMER:** But that’s the thing! If you don’t leave a good commit message, no one’s gonna understand what you were trying to do! “Fixed issue with digestion”—that’s vague, George. You gotta be specific! “Resolved blockage in lower GI tract after consuming questionable street meat.”
**GEORGE:** (groaning) I can’t believe we’re talking about this.
**KRAMER:** And what if your pull request gets stuck in CI? You ever think about that? You’re just sitting there, waiting for the tests to pass, and—(mimes an explosion)—*build failed*!
**GEORGE:** (desperate) Kramer, I don’t need a build pipeline for this! I just need—(sudden relief)—ohhhh, there we go.
**KRAMER:** (grinning) See? Green checks across the board! Your changes have been successfully merged!
**GEORGE:** (emerging from the stall, wiping his brow) I hate you, Kramer.
**KRAMER:** (clapping him on the back) Don’t hate the game, George. You just contributed to the open-source project of life.
**GEORGE:** (washing hands vigorously) I need a shower.
**KRAMER:** (laughing) Nah, you just need to rebase.
**[George glares at Kramer as they exit the restroom, the sound of a toilet flushing echoing behind them.]**
