The other day I saw someone walking down a hospital hallway talking on her phone, on speaker. But the volume was really low, so she had to hold the bottom edge speaker up to her ear, then she lowered the entire phone to talk into the mic. Did she just... not know about, uh, phone mode?

[Gandalf Voice] THIS TOO... SHALL PASS!

It's JAMIE. We've been over this, Mikaela!

Orphan Black's first episode does such a good job representing the fear of a woman being physically boxed in by a man twice her size, multiple times, that I almost can't even watch it.

With sickly sweetness The scent of Autumn comes As the chestnut tree is dropping Its load on the mums Don't let em set for long, Daddy-o Or the squirrels'll get em! Retrieve those nuts from the snow Stuff your sack full of 'em! They're good for roasts, ya know.

Why yes I am writing an entire album of Christmas songs except they're either scathing indictments of the Establishment of Religion or about fucking. Sometimes both. How did you know?