Me: Did you know that admin person with whom we’ve been dealing for the past couple years is gone? Colleague: Good! They don’t get any less effective! Me: No! Don’t say that! Colleague: Why? Universe: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED Me: that’s why Colleague: shit

Thank you for correcting my French instead of understanding the joke. It’s 100% Mastodon.

As the old saying goes, hate the sin, not the sinner - unless the sinner is a rapist felon who is weirdly preoccupied with Arnold Palmer’s dong

While you’re excitedly showing off all the fancy digital bells and whistles on your new car, GenXers are thinking “that’s just more expensive shit that’ll break as soon as the warranty is up.”

Imagine if people in everyday life behaved like Trump behaves: You go to check out at the grocery store and your cashier rambles and says hateful things to and about the other shoppers, and keeps like 1/5 of your groceries. You try telling the doctor what’s going on with your stomach and she goes on a long rant about how brilliant she is at stomach medicine and how all her professors raved about how she knew more about stomachs than they did, but then she tells you to eat nothing but sand for the next 4 years. You try and ask the person at the power company why your bill is 3x more than normal, and the customer service clerk just does a smug little shuffling dance while pretending you’re not there.

Hey, hey. Let’s just ease up with the politics, bub.

I googled “google” and the IT guy showed up and beat my ass

Jurassic Parking Deck #MakeAMovieUseful #HashTagGames

Why am I dressed like this? 1. I’m interpreting a conference 2. I’m seeking revenge for my murdered puppy

Just so awesome that in the US, we can’t yell “FIRE!” in a crowded theater, but are guaranteed ready access to the tools allowing us to OPEN FIRE in one.