Satoshi: "So what's been happening?"
Bitcoiners: "OMG, the heatpunks have squeezed every bit of stranded waste energy out of every imaginable source to mine while there's still any bitcoin to mine and El Salvador made it legal tender and now the US is stockpiling it starting with the bitcoin confiscated from this guy called Ross, who was arrested because of bitcoin and now got a pardon. And they're too late to the party to mine it because the hash rate is nearly 1 Zetahash, so they just print money and buy it with the hidden tax of inflation before the citizens can realise what's happening".
Satoshi: "WTF is a heatpu... THE HASH RATE IS WHAT??!"