Why do ducks never argue?
...
Because they just let it roll off their backs.
What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
...
A drizzly bear.
How does a barber cut the moon’s hair?
...
Eclipse it.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back.
...
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
Where did Captain Hook get his hook?
...
From the second-hand store.
Why do melons have weddings?
...
Because they cantaloupe.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
...
The space bar.
What do you call a fake noodle?
...
An impasta.
Why don’t skeletons ever start a band?
...
Because they don’t have the guts.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
...
Between you and me, something smells.
