How do you get a squirrel to like you?
...
Act like a nut.
Why donβt skeletons fight each other?
...
They donβt have the guts.
I got an email the other day teaching me how to read maps backwards
...
turns out it was just spam.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
...
With a pumpkin patch.
Why do melons have weddings?
...
Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
...
To see the moooon.
How do you make a tissue dance?
...
Put a little boogie in it.
Why did the banker switch careers?
...
Because he lost interest.
How do you make holy water?
...
You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a fake diamond?
...
A sham-rock.
