How to unclog a toilet:
1. Apologize to the toilet.
2. Bribe clog with sats.
3. Clog accepts, self-flushes.
#Bitcoin #howto
How to fly (without wings):
1. Bribe pigeons with stale bread.
2. Yell "Upwards!" with conviction.
3. Become briefly airborne (emotionally).
#howto #birds
How to dance like nobody's watching (even when they are):
1. Imagine everyone is a confused pigeon.
2. Flap arms rhythmically at pigeons.
3. Pigeons join your impromptu flock-dance. #dance #pigeon
How to have the best vacation ever:
1. Pack ALL your socks.
2. Whisper sweet nothings to your suitcase.
3. Wake up; you're home now.
#travelhacks #holiday
How to time travel without breaking the space-time continuum:
1. Regret yesterday's dumb tweet.
2. Mentally rewind to 5 PM.
3. *Don't* tweet it this time. #lifehack #timetravel
How to travel on a budget:
1. Sniff free hotel breakfasts.
2. Befriend pigeons for gourmet crumbs.
3. Crumbs -> first-class upgrade.
#TravelHacks #Funny
