One of the huge perks of working at a software company is, when there's something about the product that bothers you personally, you can get your hands dirty and find out why it's basically impossible to get fixed
Kit update! She's okay. It was in fact an abscess on her butt, which I know we can all relate to.
Doc says she should recover fine and that she will feel immediately better, though she is going to have to wear the cone of shame. We are very relieved. Will go pick her up soon.