:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle: #GoodMorning and #TZAG to you all! :squirtle_jam: I managed to get some sleep tonight, but I still have a headache due to my tinnitus being crazy! We called the GP. And the assistant will see me at 13:55. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 she'll be able to help me with the sutures... After that, mum and I will return a parcel to the postal service. Mum and I went for a short walk this morning. And now I'm on the bed with an ice pack. Some parts of the scar are just so warm and sore (mostly where er think there could be sutures stuck under it). I'll try to write my journal Toot in a bit. And I want to reply to an email by a sweet friend. Hopefully the headache and tinnitus will calm down a bit soon. And hopefully the ice pack will help a bit as well... Ugh... Guess I won't be able to do much else today. It's all bläh... 😔 Hope you all will have a lovely day today :blobcatflower: remember to be kind, not just to others, but to yourself as well 🌸 :pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾 #PixysJourney

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle: Good evening and #TZAG to you all. #Today Well, it's been a day... After taking an extra painkiller, I managed to have a proper night. Not good yet, but, when compared to most of the nights of the past few weeks... It was a great night even! As we didn't have Bas go take care of, mum got a lie in as well, so we both were up a little later. When we were dressed and fed, we went for a little walk. Which was a bit painful, partially due to the fabric of my pants rubbing on some sore bits. But also because my left hand thumb, the one with the two messed up surgeries, is starting to get more painful when walking with the crutches. I wrote my journal Toot and then I had to relax some. I was getting some dizzy spells, checked my blood pressure and it was good, checked my temperature and it was within the recent numbers as well... After some relaxing, mum helped me to shower. Then, I wrote an email to a sweet friend. And I had to relax with my ice pack again. 😔 I had wanted to write a new blog post but I struggled with focusing on my screen. So that's a "chore" I'll have to do tomorrow (or tonight if I can't sleep). Hopefully I'll be able to sleep some more tonight. Using the repellent to keep the buzzing terrorists at bay. I've taken an extra painkiller again. But the sore spots have changed a bit again, so I'll have to try to find a new way to get comfortable... Tomorrow morning, first thing mum and I will need to do is call the GP to get me an appointment, as the situation with the stitches needs to be sorted ASAP... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 they'll have a spot that day... Wishing you all a good night dears! Hope to catch you again in the morning! :pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾 #PixysJourney

:parrot_sad: that moment when you realize that your eyes are leaking... And you're reminded of the night you spent two weeks ago... Where you were in physical pain. And slowly realizing that your biggest love is struggling so hard that it hurts you deep inside... :parrot_sad: Two weeks ago, I was struggling with the trauma of the dislocated hip and the surgery that followed. While I could not sleep, I noticed Arwen's discomfort growing. I saw the sadness in her eyes. I cried most of the night, knowing that our journey was coming to an end. Knowing I had to keep my promise to her. I can't believe that in about 10 hours from now, it's been two weeks since my gall passed away with my mum and me at her side. I'm blessed during this night, as Bas is lying against my legs, sharing his calming energy with me. 💜 These last three weeks have been hard. And so painful. But I've also felt so loved. I've also been so grateful... I got to spend almost 12 years with this wonderful soul. The last almost 7 years of it, it was just her and me against the world. We made it through the darkest times. We made good memories during the better times. They say that the first few weeks are usually the hardest. I hope it will become less painful with time. I'll never miss her less, but maybe the memories may bring me a smile instead of all these tears, as time passes by... I've felt grateful to Arwen for allowing me to be her soulmate. I've felt (and still feel) grateful for all the help from everyone here, making sure that I could bring Arwen home again. I'm grateful for my mum being with me, helping me, and for her bringing Bas along every now and then for some loving snuggles. And I'm grateful for two sweet friends, who changed their plans at the last minute, so they can come to me this Saturday, to help me with "Arwen's shelf". :bear_love: Writing all this down has helped me to calm down again. I'll share an older snap of Arwen. I may have shared it before... I can't remember. Hopefully @Altbot can help me, as I want to add Alt text, but I don't want to get too emotional again. :flying_hearts: missing you every day, you were my bestest friend :flying_hearts: #RIPArwen

Several years ago, I came across this image and I saved it... As I lay here, some tears in my eyes, wishing my gall a good night... I remembered I had this image. I don't know where it came from, but it's so very true... Arwen, have a good night sweets, I miss you so much... 💔 Hopefully @Altbot can help me with the text, as it's hard to type when crying...

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle: Made it through the day. It had some ups and downs... Considering the circumstances... I was able to work on some difficult journal posts, and I edited a few snaps of my dearly departed wonderful gall... 💔 Mum and I walked a short round, went to Lidl and finished The Discovery of Witches. I took a heavier painkiller, as some annoying pains were troubling me during the day. So hopefully the little oxy will help me sleep a bit soon. I'm tired enough, but I struggle to get comfortable enough. And there is still that fear that something could go wrong. Plus... Missing the background sounds of a snoring loved one. I could always calm myself when I heard her snoozes near me... 😢 Hopefully I can get some sleep soon. Tomorrow they'll call from the hospital to check up on me. I need to discuss the pains that I can't really place, and the fact that my feet are still swollen some. Even though I've not taken the naproxen anymore and my feet have been up for a while. After the call, I should have my first physio appointment. Well, it should have been the second, but last Monday, my hip unfortunately had more painful plans... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that the call and physio can both help me to start feeling a bit more confident again. Thank you to all that helped me these last few days. :bear_love: the words of comfort, sharing how Arwen used to make you smile... Boosting my mutual aid request. Funding it so that I will be able to pay all the bills when Arwen's remains are ready to be taken home. It means more to me than I could ever express, even with all these awesome emojis :flying_hearts: Let's see if I can get some sleep now. Thanks again for everything! :pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾 #PixysJourney PS. I hope @Altbot can help me a bit, as I'm tired and a bit emotional, so struggling to find the right words. Altbot may be more business like, but if you've been following me, you know how I feel about my gall. 💔

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle: I've not been sharing my journal toots since all the bad things happening. The last journal Toot I wrote was on Thursday morning, about Wednesday. Of course, Friday all my life as I knew it stopped, so my head hasn't been in it really. I've been struggling with sleep. The GP gave me some sleeping meds, and they helped me relax a bit, but they also made me very drowsy and unable to really be online/write here or for my blog. Mum will go to Nijmegen for a bit, as she needs to iron her laundry. So I will be here on my own for a while. I will try to write. I will try to clear my head, and probably cry my eyes out some, as I write about the events of the last few days. I want to thank you all for your help! You have been helping me with the funds to get Arwen home again. There is no GoFundMe as I didn't have the energy to set one up. There is a Toot pinned on my wall with all the info on the funds needed and how much you all have raised for me and Arwen. Last numbers are: €271/€502,75 The links for my two payment options are: :kofi:

Ko-fi

Buy Playstation Pixy a Coffee

Become a supporter of Playstation Pixy today!

PayPal.Me

Pay Cynthia De Ruiter using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/CynniPixy and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it

Some sweet friend have also promised to send me some money, so when I have that, I will add that to the total amount raised. My parents told me they'd help me, but I want to try to do this as much as "I" can, of course with your generous help. I could not have made it through the last year with Arwen without your help. And I am so frigging grateful for that, and it pains me to ask for help for Arwen for the last time... If all goes well, she will be cremated tomorrow. They will put her in the urn, with a little loose bit in a bag (so that I can use that for the ash pendant that I want to get), and then her remains will be sent back to the vet, where mum and I can pick her up. Then she will be home again... A sweet friend has offered to help me hang a shelve so that she can have her own special place in the house. Now comes the hard part, sending this Toot and then starting the journals for Thursday till Sunday... :parrot_sad: I'll send along a snap of Arwen that I have on this tablet that I am writing this from... Ow I do miss her like hell... I will ask @Altbot to help me, as it's making me rather emotional... :pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾 #PixysJourney

My last #MutualAid help request for Arwen :parrot_sad: *Pupdate:* We made it!!! :bear_nuzzle: €529/€502,75 💜 thanks so much to all that reached out and boosted. The little bit that's left will be used as a starting amount for the ash pendant that I'd love to get soon, to always have a bit of Arwen with me! Every bit truly helps/helped me in getting Arwen home as soon as possible. (jusy got the vet bill, so I have adjusted the costs accordingly). Thanks so much to all that donated/boosted/shared comforting replies! :flying_hearts: Sadly, Arwen passed away yesterday morning. She had a tumor on her heart and she was suffering, so she deserved to end that, and sleep forever. When she passed, she took a big piece of my heart with her. Several months ago, I had a GoFundMe for her costs of cremation and an urn. I had saved that money, but... It turns out I need some more now. And I'm ashamed to ask, but I really do want to get Arwen home as quick as possible. Last April, you sweet lovely folks helped me gather €400. So that's my starting funds. Unfortunately, laat month, I spend €187+82, on medical costs for her, so my piggy bank has been depleted. The vet where Arwen passed has a good connection with a different animal funeral service. But they were very helpful and I was just overwhelmed. So, to keep things easy at a time like that, mum and I decided to use their services. Unfortunately, this means that the costs will be higher than what I had put aside, thanks to your help. The cremation will be €425. The urn that mum and I chose was €194. There are €45 costs of picking up Arwen and bringing back the urn. And I don't know the vet costs yet, but I recon they may be around €238,75 (edited, I just got the bill). Some friends have already told me they wanna help. For which I'm super grateful. But, I now need to hang my head in shame, and grumble down, and ask for your help with Arwen's costs one last time... Total costs will be € 902,75. I already had the €400 from the previous GoFundMe. Which leaves ± €502,75 to go... I know times are hard on us all. Please don't be ashamed if you're not able to donate. Boosting is just as welcome. I appreciate all your support in any way, and I'm ashamed that I need to ask for more help, after so many already came through for me during my previous begging toots. :parrot_sad: I have a :kofi: Kofi and PayPal link. I don't have the spoons to work with GoFundMe now. All the current happenings had drained me from having extra spoons to use, unfortunately. I'll try to keep this Toot updated next I can. I can never repay you, I can never fully express the feelings I experience when I may be on the receiving end of your support and generosity. :flying_hearts: My two ways of receiving financial support right now are: Https://www.ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy Https://PayPal.me/CynniPixy Sorry for asking for help again. It pains me to say that this will be the last time where I will need help with Arwen... :parrot_sad: but I'd love to get her home with me again. Thank you for your understanding, for your support. Please do boost if you can, as this can make a big difference to the reach of this Toot. :boosts_ok_gay: Arwen is free now, no more pains, no more struggles... My period of mourning has began. And dealing with money issues makes it so much more difficult... #RIPArwen #MutualAid #DareToAsk #BeggingForHelp @mutualaid group

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle: Guess who? 😉 I'm still not all back and still need to check all the notifications. But I wanted to.say good morning. Had a decent sleep. Went to the loo my by self on my crutches, which went well. Im probably getting a room mate today, so I would not mind if they could send me home today. Having a room to myself surely helped with getting more rest. 😊 Pain is manageable. Today they'll take a new xray and I'll see the physio again. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that all goes well with both. Thanks for all of your support. When I get home, I'll try to catch up with all the notifications! :bear_love: Adding a snap that mum sent me yesterday of Arwen. Hopefully @Altbot can help, as I'm still a bit tired. 😊 Have a good day everyone! #TZAG :pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾 #PixysJourney

I was just chatting to a sweet friend. And while chatting, we came up with a better slogan for my blog site. I edited it a bit, and this is the new slogan now. Hopefully @Altbot can help me, as I wouldn't know how to describe this image best. But the blog is called "Cynni's Blog" (boring, I know 😉). The slogan now is "Pixy's Journey 🧚🏼‍♀️ * AKA: All things Cynni". #Blog

Hmmm 🤔 one of the downsides of surgery... From a week up to the surgery, you're not allowed to shave (due to getting wounds). But... Now, I have these rules I have to follow, which mean... I can't shave! We're heading for very *very* warm days and my legs (among others 😂) look like I'm related to Arwen. 😂 And, my right leg is still pinkish in some spots as well. Definitely rocking the summer glamour look! :bowie_stardust: hahaha Well, rather look weird in shorts than smell and sweat in normal pants! The forecast for the next few days is wild! 🥵 Hopefully @Altbot can help me with this image. The temps mentioned are all in Celcius.