🚨 JOB ALERT: BITCOIN INFLUENCER FOR HIRE 🚨
Presented by Trustless Capital Management Group™
(Because if you still trust us, that’s on you.)
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đź’Ľ Position:
Chief Bitcoin Narrative Reversal Specialist
(a.k.a. “Influencer with a past”)
We’re looking for a seasoned Bitcoin influencer who’s finally ready to cash in on that credibility you built preaching self-sovereignty for the last two cycles. You’ve orange-pilled thousands — now it’s time to leverage that trust (and your followers’ lack of critical thinking) into yield-bearing debt instruments!
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🏦 About Us:
At Trustless Capital Management Group™, we believe in separating plebs from their principles — not money from the state.
We don’t HODL Bitcoin, we collateralize it. Because who wants sovereignty when you can have a structured note with yield?
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🎯 What You’ll Do:
• Advocate for expanding the money supply to buy Bitcoin “responsibly” via leveraged debt (don’t worry, we’ve got charts).
• Convince your audience that yield-bearing Bitcoin is the same as self-custody Bitcoin — just “more efficient.”
• Help us rebrand “counterparty risk” as “institutional adoption.”
• Post smug selfies in Miami wearing our branded merch:
“Debt Is the New Decentralization.”
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đź’° Compensation:
• Competitive salary (in fiat, of course — can’t have your paycheck dropping 10% mid-TikTok).
• Performance bonuses based on how many plebs you funnel into our instruments.
• Lifetime access to our exclusive Slack channel:
#SelloutsOnly
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⚡ Requirements:
• Minimum two Bitcoin cycles of talking about freedom and sovereignty.
• Must have called at least one bottom and one top (wrongly is fine).
• A proven ability to pivot from “Don’t trust, verify” to “Trust our compliance team.”
• Familiarity with buzzwords like “liquidity event,” “capital efficiency,” and “Bitcoin-backed preferreds.”
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đź§ Bonus Points:
• You’ve been blocked by Max Keiser and retweeted by CNBC.
• You can say “monetary expansion” with a straight face while staring at a chart of M2.
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📜 Apply Today!
Send your résumé, follower count, and moral compass (optional) to:
careers@trustlesscap.io
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Trustless Capital Management Group™
“Because Bitcoin can’t be printed — but you sure can.”
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