My father died three years ago. Since then I've not seen my step mother. I reached out to see if we could meet. A long-winded, self-soothing "NO" came back. Exquisite. Unparalleled. Evil.

Feeling frisky. Might buy a house today. Time to upgrade the citadel

I considered quitting nostr. I considered just creating a personal (real name) account and dropping this one. I considered converting this one to my real name. Ultimately I deeply fear rejection. A deep sense of worthlessness. Of feeling hated. I've seen hate here pointed in my direction. Having been told I "add no value" by a certain user, it caused a wonderful agony. For that I'm grateful. Self hatred. The part of the ego that cannot be overcome, but must be embraced. I've said some dumb stuff on this profile. I also feel attachment to some profound moments I've recorded here. Even if it's just screaming into the void. Oh what to do. #asknostr

I cannot let go. It's not me that can do the letting go.

Negative vibes are a poison. Avoid those who have not learnt to see their own beliefs for what they are. Self hatred.