Bearista Mauled by Starbucks Customer: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/09/bearista-mauled-by-starbucks-customer/

Epstein Files Forgotten After Trump Starts Wearing Glasses and Sweaters, Giving Shit About Malaria:

Epstein Files Forgotten After Trump Starts Wearing Glasses and Sweaters, Giving Shit About Melania | The Needling

CEO Orders Alderaan Starbucks Be Destroyed to Squash Red Cup Rebellion:

CEO Orders Alderaan Starbucks Be Destroyed to Squash Red Cup Rebellion | The Needling

Wilson Already Endorsed for 2nd Term After Promising Death Will Come Swiftly to Her Enemies:

Wilson Already Endorsed for 2nd Term After Promising Death Will Come Swiftly to Her Enemies | The Needling

Harrell to Spend More Time with Most Of His Family:

Harrell to Spend More Time with Most of His Family | The Needling

Learn how to find real fake news scoops and write them up in a fun and collaborative way with real fake newsroom colleagues at The Needling's next Real Real Fake Newsroom Workshop:

The Needling In-Person Real Fake Newsroom Workshop | The Needling

‘End of SNAP Benefits Could Be Good for Business,’ Says Owner of Torch & Pitchfork Emporium:

‘End of SNAP Benefits Could Be Good for Business,’ Says Owner of Torch & Pitchfork Emporium | The Needling

Dominatrix Adds Tracking Seattle Mayoral Election Results to BDSM Repertoire:

Dominatrix Adds Tracking Seattle Mayoral Election Results to BDSM Repertoire | The Needling

Starbucks Wows Investors By Closing All Stores:

Starbucks Wows Investors By Closing All Stores | The Needling

Mayor Harrell Takes First Bus Ride to Appeal to Katie Wilson Supporters:

Desperate Mayor Harrell Takes First Bus Ride to Appeal to Katie Wilson Supporters | The Needling