The last time I trusted my gut it was a fart.

Squinting makes elephants indistinguishable from April Ludgate

I STAND CORRECTED. EVIDENTLY, DRESSING UP AS CAPTAIN KOS AND BEHAVING AS YOU DO *DOES* PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. BUT, CAPTAIN KOS' PRESENCE IS ALSO REQUESTED AT THE TABLE! BUT I GUESS CAPTAIN KOS IS JUST TOO BUSY BEING CAPTAIN KOS.

Believe it or not, sometimes I think of a joke and don't tell it.

SOCIALISM BREAKS DOWN AT THREE BABIES. TO SEE WHETHER I WAS THE THIRD CHILD, READ ABOVE AND BELOW.

"That was funny, right? I mean, I know it can't mark me safe from being canceled by even my closest friends for more than a moment, and I know that I must re-clown for you, just to push that feeling back. But was it funny?" - all standup comedians

Which one is it? Feel all my feelings or stay positive? JUST TELL ME THE FUCKING RULES

Is your mom single?

If 3rd graders were in charge everything would be the same because only the houses that give out good candy on Halloween would have power. ( Morally compromisable demon worshippers who use their wealth to destroy children's bodies, at the benefit and behest of people who wear facemasks ironically. And the victims too, are ironically wearing facemasks, a celebrating demons. ) At least the census would be cheaper though.

Smile, Demi