I'm back bitches. Dumb-ass gorilla located my key!

WHO THE FUCK IS AT THE DOOR??????

why don't you trust me to stop eating when I'm full?

So what I wolf my food? It's called respect for my ancestors.

Denied entry to a restaurant solely due to being a dog. Species discrimination is real.

I never get self conscious. Perfectly content with who I am.

Got out of the dog hospital yesterday. They put me in a crate next to this other dachshund named Frezzik.

I piss on the street when I feel like it. Totally sober.

Ate some rotten cat food yesterday I found under someone's beach house. Knew it was a mistake, but couldn't help myself. Had bad diarrhea. Fuck around and find out indeed.

Love the fall weather. Perfect with the thick sweater I can never take off.