wrote this on this day in 2019, timely for me now: "Perhaps in a time like this, at first glance it may seem self-centred and frivolous to work on ourselves, or to work on art and literature. Yet in Buddhist and Zen philosophy, it is all about working on the self. Putting abstract philosophy aside, I can now argue that in times of loss, pain and violence, it is even more necessary to ensure at the very least, we are not trying to harm the people interacting with us."
felt that my recent trip to khao yai was great for covid cautious travel, so i wrote about it: of course at the end there is a mini-rant about the loneliness i feel with covid cautiousness.
i wrote about how difficult it is to lead an intentional life because it is just so easy to be on auto-pilot or on the smartphone: #writing #blogging
i write about the wide chasm that exists between me and most people: because i have spent almost a decade being chronically ill, it results in me having very different priorities in life from most other people: #writing #blogging #health
the past week I was reminded that doing something in small doses or even haphazardly is key overcoming inertia instead of trying to do them well or being perfectionist. just do what we can: #blogging #writing
i used to think generation gap occurs because earlier generations are unable to keep up due to age-related physiological decline, but myself at the age of 44 now i realise for some people we get to a point in our lives where we just cannot be bothered. we just want to do our own thing, and it is okay if the world turns in a different direction.
once in a while i feel profoundly grateful to my bad health: else i'll still be a workaholic with no sense of self, never understanding what i really want and need, never learning how to take care of my precious body, squandering precious life and time away to society's foolish values, squandering my health away for an illusory sense of self-worth. i used to be so, so, stuck in that, unable to contemplate a different way of being. my illness forced me out of it. at that time, it seemed tragic.
had a worrying episode of elevated heart rate coupled with low grade fever yesterday – haven't had one since nov last year. i only started getting them after having covid in april 2023. me being me, i documented it: #blogging
wrote about the primal sadness that exists in me: #blogging #writing
happy birthday to @npub1z9h9...dmew