Imagine you're a deer and you have a chance to be with a tiger, a sloth, or with a zebra.
The tiger is absolutely powerful and dangerous. He will not serve you or take care of your emotional needs. But, if you behave, he will protect you and you will have an exceptionally interesting life.
The sloth is lazy and weak. You will have to take care of him. He won't be able to survive without you. And you can dominate or do whatever you want to him, he will be nice to you anyway.
The zebra will move. He will do things for you and try to serve your emotional needs. But when problems arise, he will run away.
Which one are you choosing?
If someone compares you to a bird, would that offend you? What about calling you a fish? Probably not. Yet when people say you act like a child or call your behavior childish, most of us feel insulted and rush to defend ourselves. Why?
Being like a bird isn’t bad for a bird — it’s perfectly normal. The same goes for a fish. But if a fish started acting like a bird — flapping around on land instead of swimming — that would seem strange and out of place. It would suggest something is wrong: the fish isn’t in its natural environment or is trying to be something it’s not.
Children are wonderful. Their traits — curiosity, playfulness, shyness, naivety, even occasional delusion — are not only normal but essential for their stage of life. These qualities help them learn, explore, and grow safely. However, those same traits become ineffective, even harmful, in adulthood. A mature person faces different challenges and pursues different goals. Clinging to childish patterns as an adult often leads to frustration, unfulfilled potential, and unhappiness.
So why do we get defensive when accused of acting childishly? Because we see ourselves as adults — and we want others to see us that way too. Being treated as a mature, capable person is central to our identity. When someone points out childish behavior, it challenges that identity. It implies we’re falling short of the role we believe we’ve earned. The offense isn’t really about the word “child”; it’s about the threat to our self-image as grown-ups.
Chronological age alone doesn’t guarantee psychological maturity. While the body grows automatically with time, the mind matures only through experience: facing real challenges, overcoming fears, enduring struggles, and learning from consequences. These difficult but natural processes shape a child into a resilient, responsible adult.
In today’s world, however, life is often engineered for comfort and safety. Many of the hardships that once forced growth are now avoided or softened. As a result, large numbers of people reach physical adulthood while remaining emotionally and mentally childlike — trapped in patterns that no longer serve them.
The good news is that this isn’t permanent. With honest self-reflection and clear guidance, you can recognize immature patterns in your own behavior. And through targeted practices, real-world challenges, and deliberate effort, those patterns can be replaced with mature, effective ones.
If you’re ready to examine this in yourself and take practical steps toward genuine adulthood, detailed insights, self-assessment tools, and step-by-step exercises are available to members of Warrior’s Path.
